The honeymoon is over. Maybe you’ve been together a few months, a few years, or even a lot of years. At some point, though, the early flames of passion will fade and you’ll start looking for ways to reignite them.
You’re in luck, then, because that’s exactly what this article is about!
1. Have Fun Together
Remember the fun times you had when you first started dating? You laughed, you played, and you spent time enjoying each other’s company. There’s no reason for the fun to stop just because you’ve been together for a while. Think about some of these options:
- Collect cartoons or jokes that your spouse will enjoy
- Play a game together, like checkers or backgammon
- Do something unexpected to surprise your spouse
- Do a puzzle together
- Make popcorn and watch a favorite movie
2. Be Romantic
What did you used to do when the two of you were romancing each other? Jump start the romance by going back to some of those previous activities that generated warm feelings. Maybe you used to:
- Eat dinner by candlelight
- Hide a love note in your spouse’s lunch
- Build a fire and relax in front of it
- Take walk in the moonlight
3. Go Back To Dating
One way to jump start your relationship is to “date” each other again. Add to the fun by calling to ask each other out, and the one doing the asking then plans the date. To make it more challenging, set a budget limit for the date. You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be creative and plan a date for $30 or less.
Once you’re on the date, treat each other as you did when you were first getting acquainted. Men, open the car door for your lady. Women, put on a special dress and flirt with your gentleman.
4. Do The Little Things
The day to day grind of life can really wear you down, and at those times paying attention to the little things gets harder. It’s more important then ever, though, that you make the extra effort to do the little things that your spouse will really appreciate. You could:
- Make a point to give your spouse a hug and a kiss each morning before you leave and each evening when you get home
- Remember to say please and thank you
- Pick the chore your spouse dislikes the most, and do it for him or her without being asked
- Say “I love you” often, not just when you think it’s expected
5. Be Physical
We’re not just talking about sex. Being physical means touching her arm, holding his hand, offering a gentle caress or neck rub after a tough day. And when the two of you do move towards having sex, don’t just turn out the lights and get on with it every time. Seduce each other a bit, light some candles and take a bubble bath together. As pleasurable as sex is, doing the same thing the same way every time gets boring so spice things up a bit and you’ll be amazed at what will happen.
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The Romance Astrology
"Your sun sign can tell a lot about you as a lover. It can help you explore how you approach your romantic love interests." Heidi Richards Is it easy for you to get close to someone or do you take your time in developing meaningful relationships? What does your partner bring to your relationship that either helps it blossom or keeps it from going anywhere? Are you finding love elusive or does it come easy? How do you relate to those you are romantically attracted to? What kind of relationship are you looking for? What kind of partner are you seeking? While reading about your sun sign is not the entire answer to the age-old challenge of finding the right partner, it can be a start. Your sun-sign is only one aspect of your persona, what makes you, you. Your Rising and Moon also determine the life you were born to lead. Romance, Astrology and You will shed some light on sun signs and romance. Beyond that, you may wish to you seek professionals who can prepare your chart and give you a more in-depth personality/life reading.
The signs are divided into the four elements which represent them. They are the elements of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. This first page covers the Fire signs - Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The Earth signs - Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are on the next page, Air signs - Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, the next and the last page is dedicated to the Water signs – Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.
Fire Signs
Fire signs represent enthusiasm and energy. The hallmark of fire is inspiration. With a joy for life, they can be ardent, forceful and have a tendency to be extremely impulsive.
ARIES - (March 22 - April 20). Aries is ruled by Mars, and its symbol is the Ram. Aries is a Fire sign, impulsive and energetic. You are bold and impatient, easily infatuated, and often lose interest if boredom sets in. You tend toward impulsive rather than cautious when it comes to matters of the heart, making your interest known (sometimes too quickly), and you tend to be very direct – shy is not a word to describe the impetuous Aries. You quickly bounce back from rejection, although it isn’t something you are use to, as you like to get your way. Quips and quarrels are often seen as foreplay with the direct Aries. You like the conquest in romance and can play "hard-to-get". You find it stimulating when the object of your affection plays the same game. However, in the long run you love to let yourself be caught, to be "swept away" with desire. You gravitate toward the confident, rather than those who appear needier. Aries loves to be caressed and told that you are the best.
LEO - (July 23 – August 22) Leo is ruled by the Sun and its symbol is the lion. As a Fire sign, Leo’s world revolves around the principles of identity and drama. You love to be the center of your partner’s adoration and attention. You tend to be flamboyant and melodramatic when it comes to matters of the heart. You crave attention and find ways to announce that you have arrived, whether it be with a look, the way you “waltz” into a room, the way you toss your head or even the way you walk up to someone and give them a gentle touch. You are a true romantic and have been known to write a poem or two. You have style, are generous and love to “surprise” the object of your affection with flowers and candy. In fact, surprises are second nature to you. You often sport an aristocratic air, even if you weren’t born into nobility. You love to be adored and admired and taking the lead in romance gives you a sense of power. You expect to be respected, and will act worthy of respect with one you desire. You know how to turn on the charm and raise the heat in a relationship. Leos love to be touched and admired.
SAGITTARIUS - (November 22 – December 21) Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter and is symbolized by the archer. This Fire sign is connected with the identity. You crave variety, new ideas, and new experiences. In fact, you can be a little "excessive," which means you can over-do things a bit - or a lot. You love to explore new places, people and foods. Change is something you simply cannot live without. Routine is not a word that sits well with you and anyone romantically interested in the archer better be ready for adventure. You are a truth seeker, love to learn and your interests are eclectic and varied. You tend to embellish things a bit (almost to the point of exaggeration) especially when it comes someone who might be attracted to you. You want them to find you as interesting as you find life itself. You love your "space" and freedom and want your partner to feel the same. You find independence in others as sexy as it is second nature to you. Playful dates are a real turn-on for someone seeking a good-time. When it comes to love-interests, you want to be "friends first". Honesty is paramount to you and you expect it from those in your life, especially your mate. You can be philosophical one moment and class clown the next. You are very jovial and will seek a partner who makes you laugh. When it comes to spirituality, you consider yourself a guide along the long and winding road to self-discovery. And when in the learning mode, the Sagittarius will be a "seeker" or student to those who can teach or inspire you. Sagittarians are as turned-on by a stimulating conversation as they are by sensual exploration.
Earth signs are physical and have to do with primarily material affairs. They are natural and their feet tend to be firmly planted on the ground, "earthy" types. The hallmark of earth signs is practicality. TAURUS - (April 21 – May 21) Taurus is ruled by Venus and its symbol is the bull. Taurus is an Earth sign which is connected with fruitfulness and stability. You love luxury and sensual comforts such as silky satin sheets, robes fit for a king or queen and beautiful surroundings. You seek comfort, security and beauty. A perfect romance to you is one that is harmonious and beautiful, even if a bit materialistic. Because of your fondness for pretty things, you will proudly display your possessions and purchasing power. You are easygoing, calm, and comfortable to be around. You enjoy sharing "quiet times" with your love interest and also get excited about everyday activities such as shopping and cooking and dining. You tend to be stubborn and will do whatever you can to get what you want. When it comes to showering affection on the object of your desire, you enjoy physical contact. You have a very sensual nature and appreciate the pleasures of food, art, music, perfumes, fondling, or sex. Because you appreciate nature; a walk in the woods, hiking and rock-climbing may be considered exciting dates. You also love sunsets camping, gardening and simply being outdoors and can be attracted to those who are equally down-to-earth and outdoorsy. As long as your partner or mate displays the qualities of loyalty and honesty qualities which you likely possess, they will have your undying loyalty and a relationship destined to endure.
VIRGO - (August 23 - September 22) Virgo is ruled by Mercury and is symbolized by the Virgin. As an Earth sign, Virgo is connected with material things and practicality. The ultimate organizer, you gravitate toward anything that puts your analytical mind to use. To the outside world you may appear reserved and tend to hold back your emotions, when it comes to love, it’s no holds barred for the loving Virgo. You display great attention to detail which can be considered good fortune or a curse when it comes to relationships. You are good at remembering your partner’s desires (even those that were only mentioned in passing) and love to cater to those desires. To you, organizing the object of your affections is considered “flirting.” Your favorite role is to be of help and service to friends and partners. You are witty, perceptive and logical. Your reasoning powers help you to resolve conflicts easily and quickly taking your romance to new depths. You need a partner who will help you loosen your cautious shy nature. You are a good listener and communicator, an important aspect in romance. You love to “fuss” over your partner and can sometimes be seen as critical. Your partner should know though, that if you were not interested, you would not work so hard to help your love interest be “all he or she can be.” Good health is of great concern to you and you work hard to take care of yourself. You aim to please and when it comes to love you fall hard. Virgos are most attracted to those who keep themselves physically fit.
Capricorn – (December 22 - January 20) Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and is symbolized by the sea goat. As an Earth sign, Capricorn is motivated, determined and sets practical goals. Taking unnecessary risks is not your “thing,” even in the area of romance. You are ambitious and responsible. You will, however do “whatever it takes” to get what you want. Social status, reputation, position, and career are important to you. You use these to impress and attract the object of your desires. When it comes to love, no silly games for you, you prefer a more mature approach to courtship. Glamour and dazzle are more your style – so an evening that starts out in a limousine would be perfect. You are supportive and dependable, good qualities in any relationship. Security, a good home, and the finer things in life are what you strive for. You do not shy away from commitment, as long as it is with the right person – in fact you "play for keeps" and will be forever faithful. Some might consider you a loner, but do not be fooled by the aloof Capricorn. You are longing for a deep, meaningful relationship with just the right partner. Capricorns can be as powerful in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom, so lovers beware. You are seen by your peers as a “winner” and often attract the same. When it comes to romantic adventures, you are both practical and romantic so a perfect getaway for you could include both work and play.
Air signs have a great deal to do with relationships and intellect and are gatherer knowledge using their intuition and the head. They are known for getting what they desire and achieving their goals. Their hallmark is making a difference in the world, whether it be in their own circle of influence or something much larger.
Gemini - (May 22 – June 21) Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is symbolized by the Twins. An Air sign, Gemini is connected with communication. You have a way with words. You're good at flirting and teasing, and can be a real sweet talker. Because of your “twins” influence you are clever at adapting your style to suit the seduction. You can be witty and clever and easily are attracted to good conversationalists. You love the power of suggestion and using double entendres. In fact, you use them proficiently when you are flirting with others, whether they be romantic interests or just passing fancies. You adapt easily to most situations and love to share stores of people, places and experiences, which you skillfully use to arouse the interest of one you desire. Because you are so tuned into communicating, you can see both sides of a situation. You know there are always at least three sides to every conflict. The sides of each party involved and the truth; which you have a knack for discovering. You can be a prolific writer. Love letters, poetry and notes are easily used to seduce the object of your affection. And mind games are beyond your realm of romantic antics. Internet chat rooms and forums stir your interest. Who knows, you may even find your future mate online. You have been known to give “good phone,” and enjoy long conversations that revolve around romance and sexual innuendos. Flirting is second nature to you and you are almost shameless when it comes to practicing your flirting style. Because of their sometimes short attention span, Gemini lovers are more likely stay around if they feel mentally stimulated.
Libra - Romantic. (September 23 – October 23) Libra is ruled by Venus. An Air sign, Libra is connected with social relationships and its symbol are the scales. Known as a diplomat to those closest to you, you have an incredible sense of objectivity and seek harmony and balance in relationships and life. Happiest when you are in love, you can be sweet and sensitive. You love talking about things relating to love and romance such as novels, movies or songs. It is your way of flirting with the object of your desires. You are a charming, gracious and considerate lover and can adapt your style to attract the one you desire. In fact, you like to be partners in most aspects of life and will find ways of including those you love and admire in your plans, whether it be at work, home or play. Although crowds of people don’t seem to bother you, you prefer spending time with your love interest alone rather than in a group setting. You may start out at a big gala affair, but will look for an appropriate time to get away so the two of you can spend time alone together. You are a thoughtful partner and lover and give your full attention to your mate. Giving your undivided attention is your way of flirting. You have a keen interest in others and can lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. You love courting and or being courted by the object of your affection. Hearts and flowers go a long way in the romance arena of your life. Librans do not like to be manipulated, fair play is an absolute must.
Aquarius - (January 21 – February 21) Aquarius is ruled by Uranus. An Air sign, Aquarius is very social, and is symbolized by the water bearer. An inventor at heart, you can be seen by others as a little “quirky,” often gravitating toward the future and progress of humankind. You are considered a visionary and open-minded looking for less conventional ways of being and doing than the other signs. You don’t generally break down under peer pressure; you prefer to be different from others. You are highly liked and surrounded by friends because you know how to be one. A humanitarian, you long for social reform and prefer those who share your thoughts on life over those who easily conform to societal pressures. You tend to be more attracted to the outrageous than one who looks and act like everyone else. You are sometimes thought of as a “rebel with a cause” and will be attracted to a partner who you shares your desire to change the world. You are a free spirit who needs his or her own space, but don’t mind sharing that space with the object of your affection, as long as you don’t get pushed into a corner. You enjoy sharing your vision of the future with the one you desire and consider it your way of flirting. Sometimes you appear aloof or unemotional, which can be a turn-off for some. Not to worry, the right person will find it attractive and be curious to know what lies beneath that detached exterior. It seems an odd way to "flirt", but it can be attractive to those who are curious and have a similar demeanor. It is the game of “intrigue” that can often turn someone on and make them want to know more. The Aquarius is a creative and imaginative in lover and will often seduce the object of their desire in unusual ways (and places).
Water signs are reflective, responsive and whose nature is toward abundance, sometimes excess. Their hallmark is their emotional, expressive nature. Cancer – Caring - (June 22 – July 22) Cancer is ruled by the Moon and its symbol is the crab. It is a Water sign, and as such is connected to the world of emotion and the instincts. People react in a positive way to your sensitive intuitive nature. If it’s a love interest you are after, you instinctively know how to get the attention you desire. Because you are a good friend and confidante, people have a tendency to confess their sins to you. When it comes to flirting you prefer a more demure or reserved approach to one that is overt. You are a caring, nurturing lover and enjoy cuddling and hand-holding. You may seduce the object of your desire with a home-cooked meal of fare that is fit for a king or queen. You tend to fuss over the object of your affections, a clear indication that you are interested in pursuing the relationship further. Pampering and affection are your signatures in romance. You are also very protective of your love interests (all relationships for that matter) and will go to the ends of the earth to make those in your life feel safe and secure. Family is important to you and you enjoy sharing family traditions as well as starting those of your own creation. For you, home is where the heart is. A Cancerean in full courtship mode will invite their love interest to meet the family. You make those you love feel like the center of the universe.
Scorpio - (October 24 – November 21) Scorpio is ruled by the planet Mars and is symbolized by the scorpion. As a Water sign it is connected with the world of emotions. You can be intently focused, even absorbed on the object of your desire. You are send by others as sultry, emotional and even a "dangerous". Your passionate nature can smolder for days, weeks and even months and then it all of the sudden erupts into a volcanic fire that is almost impossible to contain. You have a sexy animal magnetism" that can subtly seduces the object of your desires. There is a mesmerizing way about you; when you look into the eyes of your love it is as though you are looking deep into their soul. You are a born detective and will go to almost any lengths to find out about someone to whom you have an interest in. You are intense and emotionally perceptive. When hurt, you don’t mend easily and don’t forgive quickly (if ever). You know how to channel your energy and power into exploring your lover’s sexuality. You are intuitive and inquisitive; there are no secrets you won’t discover. However, your nature is such that you may keep a few secrets of your own. Ever resourceful and self-confident, you know what’s best for you and think you know what’s best for others. Sex with a Scorpio is anything but subtle, it is full of energy, daring and can even involve some risk taking. You are looking for a fearless lover, one willing to create a romance that will unleash your passions.
Pisces - (February 22 – March 21) Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune , and its symbol is two fish bound together. Pisces is a water sign, emotional and compassionate. You have an air of mystery and love a good secret. You love affairs of the heart and could become involved in a love tryst or steamy affair. You can be shy or coy, and your sensitive side and air of vulnerability can and will often work to your advantage to attract the object of your desires. You love romance and fantasy and sometimes have a hard time separating the two. You are able to share your deepest feelings with the one you love and often connect on a soul level. It is said the eyes are the window to the soul and you often find yourself flirting with your eyes. Pisces men are often seen as gallant (opening doors, and offering a hand) and both sexes can be self-sacrificing often putting the needs of their lover ahead of their own. You tend to daydream and often have your head in the clouds. You would rather go with the flow than ruffle feathers. You love to serve your lover and shower him or her with delightful fantasies. You have a spiritual nature, and are very creative. When it comes to romance, you can be unpredictable and truly enjoy the game of love, although you will pursue the object of your affection with slow, careful intent.
The signs are divided into the four elements which represent them. They are the elements of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. This first page covers the Fire signs - Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The Earth signs - Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are on the next page, Air signs - Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, the next and the last page is dedicated to the Water signs – Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.
Fire Signs
Fire signs represent enthusiasm and energy. The hallmark of fire is inspiration. With a joy for life, they can be ardent, forceful and have a tendency to be extremely impulsive.
ARIES - (March 22 - April 20). Aries is ruled by Mars, and its symbol is the Ram. Aries is a Fire sign, impulsive and energetic. You are bold and impatient, easily infatuated, and often lose interest if boredom sets in. You tend toward impulsive rather than cautious when it comes to matters of the heart, making your interest known (sometimes too quickly), and you tend to be very direct – shy is not a word to describe the impetuous Aries. You quickly bounce back from rejection, although it isn’t something you are use to, as you like to get your way. Quips and quarrels are often seen as foreplay with the direct Aries. You like the conquest in romance and can play "hard-to-get". You find it stimulating when the object of your affection plays the same game. However, in the long run you love to let yourself be caught, to be "swept away" with desire. You gravitate toward the confident, rather than those who appear needier. Aries loves to be caressed and told that you are the best.
LEO - (July 23 – August 22) Leo is ruled by the Sun and its symbol is the lion. As a Fire sign, Leo’s world revolves around the principles of identity and drama. You love to be the center of your partner’s adoration and attention. You tend to be flamboyant and melodramatic when it comes to matters of the heart. You crave attention and find ways to announce that you have arrived, whether it be with a look, the way you “waltz” into a room, the way you toss your head or even the way you walk up to someone and give them a gentle touch. You are a true romantic and have been known to write a poem or two. You have style, are generous and love to “surprise” the object of your affection with flowers and candy. In fact, surprises are second nature to you. You often sport an aristocratic air, even if you weren’t born into nobility. You love to be adored and admired and taking the lead in romance gives you a sense of power. You expect to be respected, and will act worthy of respect with one you desire. You know how to turn on the charm and raise the heat in a relationship. Leos love to be touched and admired.
SAGITTARIUS - (November 22 – December 21) Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter and is symbolized by the archer. This Fire sign is connected with the identity. You crave variety, new ideas, and new experiences. In fact, you can be a little "excessive," which means you can over-do things a bit - or a lot. You love to explore new places, people and foods. Change is something you simply cannot live without. Routine is not a word that sits well with you and anyone romantically interested in the archer better be ready for adventure. You are a truth seeker, love to learn and your interests are eclectic and varied. You tend to embellish things a bit (almost to the point of exaggeration) especially when it comes someone who might be attracted to you. You want them to find you as interesting as you find life itself. You love your "space" and freedom and want your partner to feel the same. You find independence in others as sexy as it is second nature to you. Playful dates are a real turn-on for someone seeking a good-time. When it comes to love-interests, you want to be "friends first". Honesty is paramount to you and you expect it from those in your life, especially your mate. You can be philosophical one moment and class clown the next. You are very jovial and will seek a partner who makes you laugh. When it comes to spirituality, you consider yourself a guide along the long and winding road to self-discovery. And when in the learning mode, the Sagittarius will be a "seeker" or student to those who can teach or inspire you. Sagittarians are as turned-on by a stimulating conversation as they are by sensual exploration.
Earth signs are physical and have to do with primarily material affairs. They are natural and their feet tend to be firmly planted on the ground, "earthy" types. The hallmark of earth signs is practicality. TAURUS - (April 21 – May 21) Taurus is ruled by Venus and its symbol is the bull. Taurus is an Earth sign which is connected with fruitfulness and stability. You love luxury and sensual comforts such as silky satin sheets, robes fit for a king or queen and beautiful surroundings. You seek comfort, security and beauty. A perfect romance to you is one that is harmonious and beautiful, even if a bit materialistic. Because of your fondness for pretty things, you will proudly display your possessions and purchasing power. You are easygoing, calm, and comfortable to be around. You enjoy sharing "quiet times" with your love interest and also get excited about everyday activities such as shopping and cooking and dining. You tend to be stubborn and will do whatever you can to get what you want. When it comes to showering affection on the object of your desire, you enjoy physical contact. You have a very sensual nature and appreciate the pleasures of food, art, music, perfumes, fondling, or sex. Because you appreciate nature; a walk in the woods, hiking and rock-climbing may be considered exciting dates. You also love sunsets camping, gardening and simply being outdoors and can be attracted to those who are equally down-to-earth and outdoorsy. As long as your partner or mate displays the qualities of loyalty and honesty qualities which you likely possess, they will have your undying loyalty and a relationship destined to endure.
VIRGO - (August 23 - September 22) Virgo is ruled by Mercury and is symbolized by the Virgin. As an Earth sign, Virgo is connected with material things and practicality. The ultimate organizer, you gravitate toward anything that puts your analytical mind to use. To the outside world you may appear reserved and tend to hold back your emotions, when it comes to love, it’s no holds barred for the loving Virgo. You display great attention to detail which can be considered good fortune or a curse when it comes to relationships. You are good at remembering your partner’s desires (even those that were only mentioned in passing) and love to cater to those desires. To you, organizing the object of your affections is considered “flirting.” Your favorite role is to be of help and service to friends and partners. You are witty, perceptive and logical. Your reasoning powers help you to resolve conflicts easily and quickly taking your romance to new depths. You need a partner who will help you loosen your cautious shy nature. You are a good listener and communicator, an important aspect in romance. You love to “fuss” over your partner and can sometimes be seen as critical. Your partner should know though, that if you were not interested, you would not work so hard to help your love interest be “all he or she can be.” Good health is of great concern to you and you work hard to take care of yourself. You aim to please and when it comes to love you fall hard. Virgos are most attracted to those who keep themselves physically fit.
Capricorn – (December 22 - January 20) Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and is symbolized by the sea goat. As an Earth sign, Capricorn is motivated, determined and sets practical goals. Taking unnecessary risks is not your “thing,” even in the area of romance. You are ambitious and responsible. You will, however do “whatever it takes” to get what you want. Social status, reputation, position, and career are important to you. You use these to impress and attract the object of your desires. When it comes to love, no silly games for you, you prefer a more mature approach to courtship. Glamour and dazzle are more your style – so an evening that starts out in a limousine would be perfect. You are supportive and dependable, good qualities in any relationship. Security, a good home, and the finer things in life are what you strive for. You do not shy away from commitment, as long as it is with the right person – in fact you "play for keeps" and will be forever faithful. Some might consider you a loner, but do not be fooled by the aloof Capricorn. You are longing for a deep, meaningful relationship with just the right partner. Capricorns can be as powerful in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom, so lovers beware. You are seen by your peers as a “winner” and often attract the same. When it comes to romantic adventures, you are both practical and romantic so a perfect getaway for you could include both work and play.
Air signs have a great deal to do with relationships and intellect and are gatherer knowledge using their intuition and the head. They are known for getting what they desire and achieving their goals. Their hallmark is making a difference in the world, whether it be in their own circle of influence or something much larger.
Gemini - (May 22 – June 21) Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is symbolized by the Twins. An Air sign, Gemini is connected with communication. You have a way with words. You're good at flirting and teasing, and can be a real sweet talker. Because of your “twins” influence you are clever at adapting your style to suit the seduction. You can be witty and clever and easily are attracted to good conversationalists. You love the power of suggestion and using double entendres. In fact, you use them proficiently when you are flirting with others, whether they be romantic interests or just passing fancies. You adapt easily to most situations and love to share stores of people, places and experiences, which you skillfully use to arouse the interest of one you desire. Because you are so tuned into communicating, you can see both sides of a situation. You know there are always at least three sides to every conflict. The sides of each party involved and the truth; which you have a knack for discovering. You can be a prolific writer. Love letters, poetry and notes are easily used to seduce the object of your affection. And mind games are beyond your realm of romantic antics. Internet chat rooms and forums stir your interest. Who knows, you may even find your future mate online. You have been known to give “good phone,” and enjoy long conversations that revolve around romance and sexual innuendos. Flirting is second nature to you and you are almost shameless when it comes to practicing your flirting style. Because of their sometimes short attention span, Gemini lovers are more likely stay around if they feel mentally stimulated.
Libra - Romantic. (September 23 – October 23) Libra is ruled by Venus. An Air sign, Libra is connected with social relationships and its symbol are the scales. Known as a diplomat to those closest to you, you have an incredible sense of objectivity and seek harmony and balance in relationships and life. Happiest when you are in love, you can be sweet and sensitive. You love talking about things relating to love and romance such as novels, movies or songs. It is your way of flirting with the object of your desires. You are a charming, gracious and considerate lover and can adapt your style to attract the one you desire. In fact, you like to be partners in most aspects of life and will find ways of including those you love and admire in your plans, whether it be at work, home or play. Although crowds of people don’t seem to bother you, you prefer spending time with your love interest alone rather than in a group setting. You may start out at a big gala affair, but will look for an appropriate time to get away so the two of you can spend time alone together. You are a thoughtful partner and lover and give your full attention to your mate. Giving your undivided attention is your way of flirting. You have a keen interest in others and can lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. You love courting and or being courted by the object of your affection. Hearts and flowers go a long way in the romance arena of your life. Librans do not like to be manipulated, fair play is an absolute must.
Aquarius - (January 21 – February 21) Aquarius is ruled by Uranus. An Air sign, Aquarius is very social, and is symbolized by the water bearer. An inventor at heart, you can be seen by others as a little “quirky,” often gravitating toward the future and progress of humankind. You are considered a visionary and open-minded looking for less conventional ways of being and doing than the other signs. You don’t generally break down under peer pressure; you prefer to be different from others. You are highly liked and surrounded by friends because you know how to be one. A humanitarian, you long for social reform and prefer those who share your thoughts on life over those who easily conform to societal pressures. You tend to be more attracted to the outrageous than one who looks and act like everyone else. You are sometimes thought of as a “rebel with a cause” and will be attracted to a partner who you shares your desire to change the world. You are a free spirit who needs his or her own space, but don’t mind sharing that space with the object of your affection, as long as you don’t get pushed into a corner. You enjoy sharing your vision of the future with the one you desire and consider it your way of flirting. Sometimes you appear aloof or unemotional, which can be a turn-off for some. Not to worry, the right person will find it attractive and be curious to know what lies beneath that detached exterior. It seems an odd way to "flirt", but it can be attractive to those who are curious and have a similar demeanor. It is the game of “intrigue” that can often turn someone on and make them want to know more. The Aquarius is a creative and imaginative in lover and will often seduce the object of their desire in unusual ways (and places).
Water signs are reflective, responsive and whose nature is toward abundance, sometimes excess. Their hallmark is their emotional, expressive nature. Cancer – Caring - (June 22 – July 22) Cancer is ruled by the Moon and its symbol is the crab. It is a Water sign, and as such is connected to the world of emotion and the instincts. People react in a positive way to your sensitive intuitive nature. If it’s a love interest you are after, you instinctively know how to get the attention you desire. Because you are a good friend and confidante, people have a tendency to confess their sins to you. When it comes to flirting you prefer a more demure or reserved approach to one that is overt. You are a caring, nurturing lover and enjoy cuddling and hand-holding. You may seduce the object of your desire with a home-cooked meal of fare that is fit for a king or queen. You tend to fuss over the object of your affections, a clear indication that you are interested in pursuing the relationship further. Pampering and affection are your signatures in romance. You are also very protective of your love interests (all relationships for that matter) and will go to the ends of the earth to make those in your life feel safe and secure. Family is important to you and you enjoy sharing family traditions as well as starting those of your own creation. For you, home is where the heart is. A Cancerean in full courtship mode will invite their love interest to meet the family. You make those you love feel like the center of the universe.
Scorpio - (October 24 – November 21) Scorpio is ruled by the planet Mars and is symbolized by the scorpion. As a Water sign it is connected with the world of emotions. You can be intently focused, even absorbed on the object of your desire. You are send by others as sultry, emotional and even a "dangerous". Your passionate nature can smolder for days, weeks and even months and then it all of the sudden erupts into a volcanic fire that is almost impossible to contain. You have a sexy animal magnetism" that can subtly seduces the object of your desires. There is a mesmerizing way about you; when you look into the eyes of your love it is as though you are looking deep into their soul. You are a born detective and will go to almost any lengths to find out about someone to whom you have an interest in. You are intense and emotionally perceptive. When hurt, you don’t mend easily and don’t forgive quickly (if ever). You know how to channel your energy and power into exploring your lover’s sexuality. You are intuitive and inquisitive; there are no secrets you won’t discover. However, your nature is such that you may keep a few secrets of your own. Ever resourceful and self-confident, you know what’s best for you and think you know what’s best for others. Sex with a Scorpio is anything but subtle, it is full of energy, daring and can even involve some risk taking. You are looking for a fearless lover, one willing to create a romance that will unleash your passions.
Pisces - (February 22 – March 21) Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune , and its symbol is two fish bound together. Pisces is a water sign, emotional and compassionate. You have an air of mystery and love a good secret. You love affairs of the heart and could become involved in a love tryst or steamy affair. You can be shy or coy, and your sensitive side and air of vulnerability can and will often work to your advantage to attract the object of your desires. You love romance and fantasy and sometimes have a hard time separating the two. You are able to share your deepest feelings with the one you love and often connect on a soul level. It is said the eyes are the window to the soul and you often find yourself flirting with your eyes. Pisces men are often seen as gallant (opening doors, and offering a hand) and both sexes can be self-sacrificing often putting the needs of their lover ahead of their own. You tend to daydream and often have your head in the clouds. You would rather go with the flow than ruffle feathers. You love to serve your lover and shower him or her with delightful fantasies. You have a spiritual nature, and are very creative. When it comes to romance, you can be unpredictable and truly enjoy the game of love, although you will pursue the object of your affection with slow, careful intent.
Ghost Mothers
So many women talk about their relationships with their mothers—no matter how old they are. For some, their mother, from whom they have supposedly separated long ago, still occupies a central place in the psyche. She’s too close, she’s too much. She has advice, is nosy, and interferes. The daughter wants time away, she wants boundaries, and fights for her separation from her mother.For others, the mother still occupies the psyche, but with a wrenching kind of longing—a mother that is biological and even sometimes present, but also a mother who is so self-involved as to be emotionally absent, or literally out of the picture. This kind of mother takes up space and energy as a nagging, missing piece, a ghost. Her image hovers, her memory, or perhaps a dream of how it could have been, should have been, but never is.Which kind of mother do you have?My mother was a dream. I realize now, 10 years after her death, that I was always trying to get the dream to come true—to have her be warm and huggy, to have her want to know me, to visit me in my house, to know my children. To know me. It never happened. It left a yearning that I played out with men, it left a hole that I tried to fill in many ways.When I was little, she left me when I was four years old, and once a year appeared in the landscape of my life—I lived with her mother—only to disappear too soon and in a flurry of anger at her own mother, without seeming to notice how hard it was for me.So many people—men and women—struggle with this kind of emptiness, the burn of anger in the pit of the stomach, the unanswered questions that can’t be asked—why are you like this? Mothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of her own problems, her own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.How to help to heal the Ghost Mother wound:1. Learn about your mother’s life—how she became the way she is—though talking with relatives, if she won’t talk to you directly, or by sitting down and hashing through history shown in photos and family albums.2. Find adoptive mothers who will nurture you, and friends who understand your story.3. Learn to mother yourself—though therapy, through having children of your own. They will teach you.4. Write your story. Tell your story. Having witnesses to your story is a part of healing. Seeing compassion in the eyes of others shows you that you are worthy of it, and deserve it.5. Learn to forgive. Work on it. Work on being yourself and having a life you like and enjoy.6. Learn to surround yourself with who you like, people who love and like you, and beauty that makes you feel part of the web of life.
Romance And Feng-Shui
If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire.” Heidi Richards
Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is the ancient Asian practice of object arrangement and space planning designed to bring balance, harmony and well-being to your environment. Its purpose is to enhance prosperity, creative, health and romance. Feng Shui fortifies a home with positive energy known as chi. The attainment of positive chi is both an art and a blessing to those who manifest that chi. The word “feng” means wind and “shui” means water, each one associated with a good harvest and ultimate good health or good fortune.
If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire. Relationships need the proper environment to grow. They need the balance of the five elements, too much or too little will find the romance wither. Here are some Feng Shui tips to enhance your romantic space:
The first thing you must do is remove clutter out of your romance area (generally this is the bedroom). That means you must remove trash, dirty ashtrays, dead plants and nothing should be stored under the bed. Dust and cobwebs on the fans, walls, light fixtures and ceilings should be cleaned away.
Enhance your space with romance colors, such as shades of pinks, reds and whites. Guys, this does not mean it has to be feminine. You can use maroon, grayish tones of pinks and whites to achieve the same results. The key is to not use any one color so much that it overpowers the others. Other good colors include browns, beiges, lavenders, yellows and deeper shades of those are appropriate.
If you keep flowers in the room (an excellent way to attract romance into your life), make sure they are always fresh. At the first sign of wilting, toss them out. Silk flowers are an okay alternative, provided they are free of dust. Absolutely no dried flowers as they signify death. Also, make sure the roses are de-thorned. Nothing prickly such as cactus, unless your goal is to break-up.
In Feng Shui a Relationship Alter positively stimulates a relationship. Designate a special place in your romance area in which to put items that will encourage a healthy, loving relationship. Things to include in your relationship altar can include a heart shaped pink crystal quartz, a pair of candles, mandarin ducks.
Use the Pairs Principle to encourage love. That means two candles, two nightstands, two lights on top, two potted plants, two pillows, two chairs, etc. The Chinese symbol for love is Mandarin ducks. They signify love, romance, fidelity, affection, and loyalty in love.
Your bed should be placed in the commanding position of the room. This is to permit the widest possible vision. The door or entry to the room should be easily seen from the bed. And the head of the bed should be against a wall or against a corner. If you have nightstands, make sure one is on either side (a pair) and that the bed is accessible on three sides to attract and keep a partner. The bed should not be placed under a window.
The bedroom is for sleep and intimacy. No one should come into your room without your invitation. There should be no distractions such as workout equipment, a television, things that would remind you of work.
It is good to hang pink (heart-shaped) crystals and wind chimes in a sunny window to attract good love energy (yang).
Pictures of you as a child, your children or other relatives should also be removed from the bedroom or romance area. This space should be reserved for couples and should only display pictures of the two of you.
Dim lights will give the room a warm, inviting feeling. No harsh fluorescents or high wattage lighting, here.
While this is by no means the ultimate guide to Feng Shui for Romance, it is a good start. These ten tips will give your relationship area the boost it deserves and your romance the fulfillment it requires. Altar your space and you will altar your love life. If you want to know more about the ancient art of Feng Shui, there are many excellent resources listed below.
Recommended Book: 26 Feng Shui Secrets
Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is the ancient Asian practice of object arrangement and space planning designed to bring balance, harmony and well-being to your environment. Its purpose is to enhance prosperity, creative, health and romance. Feng Shui fortifies a home with positive energy known as chi. The attainment of positive chi is both an art and a blessing to those who manifest that chi. The word “feng” means wind and “shui” means water, each one associated with a good harvest and ultimate good health or good fortune.
If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire. Relationships need the proper environment to grow. They need the balance of the five elements, too much or too little will find the romance wither. Here are some Feng Shui tips to enhance your romantic space:
The first thing you must do is remove clutter out of your romance area (generally this is the bedroom). That means you must remove trash, dirty ashtrays, dead plants and nothing should be stored under the bed. Dust and cobwebs on the fans, walls, light fixtures and ceilings should be cleaned away.
Enhance your space with romance colors, such as shades of pinks, reds and whites. Guys, this does not mean it has to be feminine. You can use maroon, grayish tones of pinks and whites to achieve the same results. The key is to not use any one color so much that it overpowers the others. Other good colors include browns, beiges, lavenders, yellows and deeper shades of those are appropriate.
If you keep flowers in the room (an excellent way to attract romance into your life), make sure they are always fresh. At the first sign of wilting, toss them out. Silk flowers are an okay alternative, provided they are free of dust. Absolutely no dried flowers as they signify death. Also, make sure the roses are de-thorned. Nothing prickly such as cactus, unless your goal is to break-up.
In Feng Shui a Relationship Alter positively stimulates a relationship. Designate a special place in your romance area in which to put items that will encourage a healthy, loving relationship. Things to include in your relationship altar can include a heart shaped pink crystal quartz, a pair of candles, mandarin ducks.
Use the Pairs Principle to encourage love. That means two candles, two nightstands, two lights on top, two potted plants, two pillows, two chairs, etc. The Chinese symbol for love is Mandarin ducks. They signify love, romance, fidelity, affection, and loyalty in love.
Your bed should be placed in the commanding position of the room. This is to permit the widest possible vision. The door or entry to the room should be easily seen from the bed. And the head of the bed should be against a wall or against a corner. If you have nightstands, make sure one is on either side (a pair) and that the bed is accessible on three sides to attract and keep a partner. The bed should not be placed under a window.
The bedroom is for sleep and intimacy. No one should come into your room without your invitation. There should be no distractions such as workout equipment, a television, things that would remind you of work.
It is good to hang pink (heart-shaped) crystals and wind chimes in a sunny window to attract good love energy (yang).
Pictures of you as a child, your children or other relatives should also be removed from the bedroom or romance area. This space should be reserved for couples and should only display pictures of the two of you.
Dim lights will give the room a warm, inviting feeling. No harsh fluorescents or high wattage lighting, here.
While this is by no means the ultimate guide to Feng Shui for Romance, it is a good start. These ten tips will give your relationship area the boost it deserves and your romance the fulfillment it requires. Altar your space and you will altar your love life. If you want to know more about the ancient art of Feng Shui, there are many excellent resources listed below.
Recommended Book: 26 Feng Shui Secrets
Decorate Your Bedroom for Romance
Want to spice up your bedroom to let some romance in?
Decorating your bedroom for romance doesn't even have to be difficult or expensive. You can really let your creativity run wild here.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to soothe all of the senses to both take away other distractions and relax completely. This should be your oasis, your refuge to reconnect and enjoy your partner's company.
A great place to start is lighting. Get rid of the glare, and you're well on the way to more romance!
Candles, candles and more candles can bring a lot of romance into the bedroom for a pretty small investment. Candles, both large and small, tapered, pillar or votives all generate a warm, inviting, flickering light to the room. Group them together in several areas of the room for the best effect.
Adding a dimmer switch to lighting can also be quite effective in designing bedrooms for romance- and cost very little as long as you can install it yourself. It isn't as difficult as you might think!
Placing mirrors to reflect your softened light will add more depth to your bedroom.
Window dressings that are plush and appealing should darken the room and prevent lights from traffic or other external noise from interrupting the romantic mood you are creating. The window treatment can match or contrast the bedding and often can be found as an accessory to the bedding set you select. Draperies that billow and flow can add a touch of romance to the bedroom as well.
The bed, of course, is the focal point of the bedroom in most cases, and the bedding you select for romance can set just the perfect mood.
Many people think of silk and satin when thinking of romantic bedding. Both silk and satin can be costly and a bit slippery on the bed. The good news is that the same luxurious effect and feel can be created with 100% cotton sateen sheets if you don't want the added expense of genuine satin or silk linens.
Choose bedding for your romantic bedroom that centers on relaxing, romantic colors. Avoid using too much grey, yellow or pink. Red, black, white, blue and green is very popular. Newer colors like pearl, bronze and even gold can really create the feeling of luxury and are quite romantic.
Remember that all of your senses should be involved for the perfect touch of romance- so adding interesting texture for bedding can be another opportunity to bring out romance. Velvet, faux fur and velour are rich, soft to the touch fabrics that can be used for comforters, blankets and throw pillows.
Peacock Alley is one of the most well-known luxury bedding maker.
They offer an especially warm, romantic bed linen set called the Marrakech Ebony. It features shades of green, gold and ebony in prints reminiscent of the African plains and looks especially romantic when highlighted by candlelight. 55% linen and 45% rayon create luxurious sheets which are easy to care for.
The Vienna Ensemble from Peacock Alley is 100% Egyptian cotton in white on white featuring eyelet lace. Euro sham, coverlet, boudoir pillows add wonderful interesting detail to the bedding which brings back the romantic 1800s.
And if you'd prefer to keep your expenses down abit, then you could go for the shabby chic approach, which means focusing on your own sense of style, mixing just about any romantic touches into the bedroom- as long as the overall result is soothing and relaxing. You don't have to follow anyone else's idea of romance. Just be creative!
If you really want to go all out, you could add a canopy to your bed. You can easily create the same effect of a canopy bed with about 10 yards of material like linen, silk or satin and four hooks placed in the ceiling. Simply drape the cloth so that it billows and flows to just above the bed linens. This touch will enhance any spacious bedroom and can provide a bedroom with low ceilings a more spacious feel.
Finish your new romantic bedroom with abit of soft music, maybe some potpourri and some fine chocolates and champagne, and there you have it!
You can live in a bedroom that surrounds you with romance every night if you wish. Simply bring together your own creation of romantic touches and enjoy.
Decorating your bedroom for romance doesn't even have to be difficult or expensive. You can really let your creativity run wild here.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to soothe all of the senses to both take away other distractions and relax completely. This should be your oasis, your refuge to reconnect and enjoy your partner's company.
A great place to start is lighting. Get rid of the glare, and you're well on the way to more romance!
Candles, candles and more candles can bring a lot of romance into the bedroom for a pretty small investment. Candles, both large and small, tapered, pillar or votives all generate a warm, inviting, flickering light to the room. Group them together in several areas of the room for the best effect.
Adding a dimmer switch to lighting can also be quite effective in designing bedrooms for romance- and cost very little as long as you can install it yourself. It isn't as difficult as you might think!
Placing mirrors to reflect your softened light will add more depth to your bedroom.
Window dressings that are plush and appealing should darken the room and prevent lights from traffic or other external noise from interrupting the romantic mood you are creating. The window treatment can match or contrast the bedding and often can be found as an accessory to the bedding set you select. Draperies that billow and flow can add a touch of romance to the bedroom as well.
The bed, of course, is the focal point of the bedroom in most cases, and the bedding you select for romance can set just the perfect mood.
Many people think of silk and satin when thinking of romantic bedding. Both silk and satin can be costly and a bit slippery on the bed. The good news is that the same luxurious effect and feel can be created with 100% cotton sateen sheets if you don't want the added expense of genuine satin or silk linens.
Choose bedding for your romantic bedroom that centers on relaxing, romantic colors. Avoid using too much grey, yellow or pink. Red, black, white, blue and green is very popular. Newer colors like pearl, bronze and even gold can really create the feeling of luxury and are quite romantic.
Remember that all of your senses should be involved for the perfect touch of romance- so adding interesting texture for bedding can be another opportunity to bring out romance. Velvet, faux fur and velour are rich, soft to the touch fabrics that can be used for comforters, blankets and throw pillows.
Peacock Alley is one of the most well-known luxury bedding maker.
They offer an especially warm, romantic bed linen set called the Marrakech Ebony. It features shades of green, gold and ebony in prints reminiscent of the African plains and looks especially romantic when highlighted by candlelight. 55% linen and 45% rayon create luxurious sheets which are easy to care for.
The Vienna Ensemble from Peacock Alley is 100% Egyptian cotton in white on white featuring eyelet lace. Euro sham, coverlet, boudoir pillows add wonderful interesting detail to the bedding which brings back the romantic 1800s.
And if you'd prefer to keep your expenses down abit, then you could go for the shabby chic approach, which means focusing on your own sense of style, mixing just about any romantic touches into the bedroom- as long as the overall result is soothing and relaxing. You don't have to follow anyone else's idea of romance. Just be creative!
If you really want to go all out, you could add a canopy to your bed. You can easily create the same effect of a canopy bed with about 10 yards of material like linen, silk or satin and four hooks placed in the ceiling. Simply drape the cloth so that it billows and flows to just above the bed linens. This touch will enhance any spacious bedroom and can provide a bedroom with low ceilings a more spacious feel.
Finish your new romantic bedroom with abit of soft music, maybe some potpourri and some fine chocolates and champagne, and there you have it!
You can live in a bedroom that surrounds you with romance every night if you wish. Simply bring together your own creation of romantic touches and enjoy.
Abuse Is Not "One Size Fits All"
When Patricia met Robert at their annual church social, it was love at first sight. They had so much in common. Sharing love for the ballet, music, food and most importantly they shared the same dream; they were both looking for that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Someone who believed in family, God & children--to them it was imortant to have a strong foundation. Both came from good, hard working christian families and they wished for the same happiness their parents had shared throughout their marriages. Patricia and Robert dated for over a year when Robert asked for Patricia's hand in marriage. While telling her story, if only for a brief moment Patricia's eyes reflected on a happier time in her life.
Patricia begins when Robert proposed.
We had just learned that Robert was offered a job as a financial analyst with a large investment banking institution. Robert wanted to really go out on the town and celebrate. I was so happy for him, I went out and bought a new dress. Robert was very secretive about how we would celebrate his new job. The next weekend we drove about two hundred miles. I knew by the highway signs we were headed to Chicago. When we arrived at the restraurant, Robert excused himself. When he returned he handed me an envelope. When I opened the envelope, I wanted to just scream out loud . Inside, there were two tickets to see my all-time favorite performer in the whole world, Tony Orlando. I couldn't believe my eyes. And they were front row seats to boot. I could hardly get through dinner knowing we were going to see Tony Orlando. I have to say when we were seated for the show, I had goose bumps.
After the first song, Mr. Orlando reached into the audience with his hand and asked me to come up to the stage. When I turned to look at Robert, he'd left his seat. I was actually on the stage with this handsome hunk of a man. Then he asked the audience for their cooperation for a moment. Then Mr. Orlando turned me around to the back of the stage. "Do you know this young man approaching," he asked. I couldn't say a word, I was frozen. "Ladies and gentlemen, the person coming on stage is Robert and he has something to ask this very special lady."
Mr. Orlando said hello to Robert, handed him the microphone and said. "It's all
yours my man." And then, what seemed to be before the entire world, Robert got on his
knees and proposed. When I accepted the crowd of strangers stood up and cheered. Then, from the audience, my family and Robert's family came up on stage to congratulate us.
We set a date and married in our town church shortly after. Things happened so fast, with the wedding, sending out resumes for a job, and then trying to find a place to live. We were going crazy. I was so excited when I found a good paying job; everything was falling directly into place.
After a few months, Robert began acting strange. He'd blow up when he thought I misplaced his shaver, or his socks weren't matched and still sitting in the laundry basket. You know, stupid little things like that. One night, I had to stay late at work and finish a project. When I walked in the door Robert was sitting with the channel changer in one hand and a beer in the other.
"Can't you come straight home from work just once?"
When I tried to calm him down he threw his beer and the channel changer at the television and stormed out of the apartment. The next morning he apologized for blowing up and said he was under a lot of pressure at work. He asked me to forgive him. A few weeks later, the girls from work made plans to go out for a night on the town. I didn't think it was such a big deal. Robert was going to a basketball game with some people from work and I really didn't feel like staying home by myself. When I came home, Robert had just arrived.
"Where have you been?"
"I went out with some girls after work, why?"
"Those bimbos who go out and meet men like whores. Is that what you want to do? Is that what you like? Cause if it is, you can go out that door."
I was stunned and hurt by Robert's words. When I called home for some comforting reassurance, I was amazed as to how hard it was to lie and say how fine everything was going between Robert and I.
A few months later we learned I was pregnant. When I shared the news with Robert, he was so excited. Then at dinner that evening he asked when I was going to give my notice at work.
"I thought I'd work until the baby is born."
"Absolutely not," he said. "No wife of mine is going to work while she is pregnant." So, at his insistence, I gave my notice and began looking for a house. I thought things would get better, but Robert grew more irritated and impatient. When we brought our son home from the hospital, the baby would wake up nights and cry and Robert would get upset. Nothing I did seemed right. If dinner wasn't on the table the moment he walked in the door, he would scream louder then the baby. If my hair wasn't fixed the way he liked me to keep it, he would accuse me of not caring anymore. If he'd call during the day from work and I wasn't home, he would demand to know who I was with that day. I couldn't understand. I loved him so much, why was he treating me this way? I continued to ask God for guidence, but somehow it didn't stop the hurt I felt inside. When I went to my pastor, he told me to continue praying and to reach out to family members for support.
So When I called my sister and explained what was going on, she didn't believe me. She said I needed to pay more attention to Robert. So, I took her advice and tried to make things better at home. After our second child was born, I hardly left the house. And I had no time for myself.
One night Robert came home from work late. He'd been drinking. He demanded I put the children to bed. When I didn't get off the couch fast enough, he slapped me.
"Did you hear what I said? What part didn't you understand?"
I stood up, stunned, put the children to bed, locked the door to the den and went to sleep. The next day Robert left for work before I got up. That afternoon a dozen roses arrived with a note from Robert saying he was sorry. For a couple of weeks things were great, but that didn't last long.
One night after I put the kids to bed he wanted to fool around. I was just too tired. I had been up for two nights straight while the kids took turns with the flu. When I pushed Robert's hand away, he became angry, accusing me of having an affair. Then before I knew it, he pulled the belt from his pants and began beating me with it. I screamed for him to stop; the more I screamed the harder he hit me. Then he began shouting,
"You little bitch, you little bitch, defy me will you, this will teach you. I'm your husband, you do what I say when and where I want, do you understand me."
In the background you could hear the children screaming. All of a sudden there was a heavy knock at the door.
"Open up, police, open the door now."
Robert got up turned around to go to the door, he pulled a comb out of his back pocket combed his hair and tried to straighten his appearance before he answered. The officer demanded to be let in the house. He made his way around Robert into the corner of the living room where he found me hovering in the corner. The officer slowly helped me from the floor onto the sofa. Then he gave his partner the order to cuff Robert.
"But you're making a mistake, you can't do this, what do you think you're doing?" Robert said. He kept going on an on about his rights.
Shortly afterwards the paramedics arrived to treat my injuries. Suprisingly, everyone was so nice. When the officer insisted I go to the hospital, I refused.
"I'll be fine," I explained. "And besides, I have no one to leave the children with."
I was so numb and terrified, I didn't know what to do and everything everyone was saying wasn't registering. Here I was this grown woman, with two small children, a responsible individual. How could I have allowed this to happen? Why didn't I see? What did I do to provoke this outburst? Why was God allowing this to continue. How much more can I take, I thought.
Before the officer left, he gave me telephone numbers of where to get further assistance. When I got the children back in bed and settled, I sat at the kitchen table just staring at the sheet of paper that was given to me. I decided to give one of the numbers a try. When I asked about services, I was told that they were full, try back in a week. I continued calling the other hotline numbers. I kept getting the same response, "Sorry, we're full."
HOME, SWEET HOME
Feeling as though I had no other alternatives, I decided to call my mom. I decided to go home for a visit. When I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, I was horrified. My face was swollen and bruised, my neck, arms and back were raw and red with a lot of my skin broken.
Then I called the police station where my husband had been taken. They informed me that it would be around noon the following day before he sees a judge and bail is set. When I got the strength and my second wind, I packed up the jeep with some of the kids' toys and clothes. We left early the next morning for my parents' house.
When we finally arrived, my parents came out to help me along with the family pastor. The expression on my parents' faces was one of horror. My father wanted to find Robert and teach him a lesson for harming his little girl. We got settled, I sat with my parents and my pastor and we talked things out.
The Pastor suggested I write down what I needed to do. And before he left we all got down on our knees and prayed togather. I pulled out the yellow pages and looked up legal assistance offices, women's groups and attorneys. I spent the next four hours on the phone. Everywhere I called wanted personal information or history before they would even speak with me. Then I was told no one would be able to contact me for a few weeks because they were booked. Then I began calling private attorneys everyone was pretty matter of fact. The first questions were about resources, net worth, what was my current financial status. And unless I had twenty-five hundred dollars for a retainer when I walked in, they wouldn't help me. So I decided to call around to the various churches for direction. I found them very supportive and helpful.
After dinner that evening Robert called and demanded to speak with me.
"She's not here," my father said.
Robert kept calling and when my father had had enough, he blew.
"Listen, you call here again and I will call the police. Stay away from me and my family."
After the children were asleep, my parents and I resumed our conversation and we discussed what I wanted to do and what was best for all concerned. It was a blessing that my parents were willing to do anything they could to help me, and for the first time I didn't feel alone.
The next day, someone from a church office returned my call. I was asked so many questions, I felt confused. There seemed to be so much to do that I wasn't aware of because I had never been in this situation before. That afternoon, I scheduled an appointment with an attorney recommened by a local church.
ROBERT'S RIGHTS
The first thing the attorney did was to take pictures of me with an instant camera. Then he explained my legal options and alternatives. He also tried to prepare me for what might happen. He suggested that this was not going to be easy, I wasn't going to just be able to get rid of this man and throw him out of my life. He said Robert had rights too even though he's committed a crime. The attorney wanted me to understand that because we had children, Robert had a right to be a part of their lives. And that even if I had sole custody, Robert, under the law, had a right to visitation. Then after we finished our meeting the attorney asked if I would pray with him.
I was very confused, but for the first time I felt God's presence with me. All of this seemed as though it was happening so fast. The attorney suggested that because I didn't have an Emergency Order of Protection that we fill out the paperwork in his office, head over to the court building and get one now. He indicated that we would have no problem based on my injuries and police reports. I was so scared. I had never set foot in a coutroom before; it was cold and smelled like damp, musty wood. It was nothing like you see on television, except the "All rise" when the judge enters the courtroom. When my name was called, my attorney gently guided me by the arm and we went in front of the judge. My attorney spoke first.
"Your honor I'm... representing my client, Jennifer Serpico. As you can see before you judge, my client has been badly beaten. We are here today to obtain an emergency order of protection for she and the children. In addition, we ask the court to grant temporary custody to Mrs.Serpico pending the outcome of a divorce, your honor."
Then the judge spoke, "Clerk, swear in the witness."
"Raise your right hand..do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
"I do," I replied. Then the clerk held up a piece of paper and asked if that was my signature. "Yes," I stated. Then for the record I was asked to state my name, address and age. The judge asked me to briefly explain what happened. When my attorney told the judge it was in the paperwork before him, the judge told him to be quiet and asked me to answer the question. I tried to explain, but I couldn't. I lost it and began crying.
Slam, went the judge's gavel. "The court will take a brief recess while the witness composes herself."
"I'm sorry," I told my attorney." Did I make him angry?"
"No,"in a gentle voice he replied," just calm down and we'll try again."
When the court was called back to order the judge reappeared from the side door of the court. He looked down at me. "Are we ready to proceed"?
"Yes your honor," I replied. I tried taking a few deep breaths in between sentences to explain what Robert had done and that I was in fear for my life. When I finished the judge spoke.
"The court finds in favor of granting Mrs. Serpico an emergency order of protection based on the witness's testimony and physical injuries apparent before this court. The court further orders that the witness be granted temporary custody of the minor children. Next return date in 21 days. Good luck." Then he tapped his gavel and the court person called the next case.
When I asked why we had to return back to court the attorney explained that Robert would have to appear before the judge and my order would then be renewed depending on the circumstances of my case. There was so much I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to take any more of my attorney's time and most of all I didn't want to appear stupid.
ROBERT RETURNS
A few days later Robert appeared at my parents' house, demanding to speak with me. My father refused to let him in the house. The following night my parents and I were awakened by a large noise outside. When I peeked out the upstairs bedroom window, I spotted Robert's car down the street. I began screaming, "It's Robert, he's back."
My father ordered us to stay in the house and to contact the police. You could hear my father having it out on the front lawn with Robert. It was also obvious that Robert had been drinking. When my father turned around to go back in the house, we heard a loud noise like a car backfiring. Then all was quiet. I called 911 again, trying to get assistance. I heard my mother whisper to stay put. When the police arrived, they found my father unconscious lying with a bullet wound to his back. Robert was nowhere in sight. The police immediately put out an all points bulletin on the radio.
They were throwing so many questions at us. They wanted a description of Robert, the car, what we saw. Several minutes later a call for backup came over the police radio. It sounded like they had Robert in sight going 90 miles an hour on the state highway. You could hear the chase like a made for television movie. It sounded like several cars were in pursuit of my husband all at one time. When the ambulance came, my mother went with my father to the hospital.
An hour or so later a squad car pulled up to the house. The officer approached me, "Mrs. Serpico?"
"Yes," I replied.
"We're checking, but we believe we've located Robert Serpico. We'll know in just a few minutes."
The following day, the doctors took my father off the critical list and moved him to a regular room. I was still in shock with the news that Robert was dead.
According to the police, while in pursuit of Robert who was going at a high speed, his car went out of conrtol, sliding off the road and over a bridge. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
Even though he was gone, the memory of the violence and the anger I felt were still inside of me. You would think it just goes away, but it doesn't. I learned that I had to deal with all of this. That meant there had to be a conclusion to all of this. It's taken over a year through therapy just to get past the violence and why he did this. I still have a long way to go and with the assistance of professional counseling there is hope that I will recover and begin again to rebuild my life.
Patricia's story ends with the tragic death of her husband, but she still has much to grieve from the abuse she received as well as his death. She has since remarried and volunteers at a local women's shelter.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
The most important thing you can do for a friend or family member who's being abused is to let the person know you care. They need to know that you are there for them, no matter what. If you see signs or specific behavior patterns in a loved one or friend, you cannot look away. Here are some things to be alert to. Is she:
*Not coming to family gatherings or outings?
*Making excuses for not showing up when they're expected?
*Wearing clothes that hide arms and legs during hot
weather.
*Appearing irritable or depressed?
*Talking about trouble in the relationship?
*Openly admitting emotional, physical or sexual abuse?
These are all signs of abuse.
If someone is trying to reach out to you for help, don't pass it off as a one time incident. Abuse is against the law; these are not accidents, they are crimes. If you choose to ignore appeals for help, she could be killed, and there will be no more choices to make, except to pick up the pieces. Listen to the person who comes to you for assistance or advice. Don't judge her. Do not minimize the extent of what she says is going on.
Abuse is not a "One Size Fits All" Solution. Like our own fingerprints no two cases of abuse are the same. Our society does not make it okay for anyone to say "I need help" or I am a victim of abuse or a broken relationship", when there is so much contempt for weakness and submissiveness.
The names, addresses and telephone numbers of programs and agencies who assist victims of domestic violence are located in your phone book under social service agencies. Or you can search the internet.
Sit down at the kitchen table with her, take paper and pen and help her with a safety plan or to set goals. Let her know you will help and support her in every way. If you know someone who is being abused, but you are fearful of confronting that person, send them information anonymously. Don't look the other way. Do something!
Patricia begins when Robert proposed.
We had just learned that Robert was offered a job as a financial analyst with a large investment banking institution. Robert wanted to really go out on the town and celebrate. I was so happy for him, I went out and bought a new dress. Robert was very secretive about how we would celebrate his new job. The next weekend we drove about two hundred miles. I knew by the highway signs we were headed to Chicago. When we arrived at the restraurant, Robert excused himself. When he returned he handed me an envelope. When I opened the envelope, I wanted to just scream out loud . Inside, there were two tickets to see my all-time favorite performer in the whole world, Tony Orlando. I couldn't believe my eyes. And they were front row seats to boot. I could hardly get through dinner knowing we were going to see Tony Orlando. I have to say when we were seated for the show, I had goose bumps.
After the first song, Mr. Orlando reached into the audience with his hand and asked me to come up to the stage. When I turned to look at Robert, he'd left his seat. I was actually on the stage with this handsome hunk of a man. Then he asked the audience for their cooperation for a moment. Then Mr. Orlando turned me around to the back of the stage. "Do you know this young man approaching," he asked. I couldn't say a word, I was frozen. "Ladies and gentlemen, the person coming on stage is Robert and he has something to ask this very special lady."
Mr. Orlando said hello to Robert, handed him the microphone and said. "It's all
yours my man." And then, what seemed to be before the entire world, Robert got on his
knees and proposed. When I accepted the crowd of strangers stood up and cheered. Then, from the audience, my family and Robert's family came up on stage to congratulate us.
We set a date and married in our town church shortly after. Things happened so fast, with the wedding, sending out resumes for a job, and then trying to find a place to live. We were going crazy. I was so excited when I found a good paying job; everything was falling directly into place.
After a few months, Robert began acting strange. He'd blow up when he thought I misplaced his shaver, or his socks weren't matched and still sitting in the laundry basket. You know, stupid little things like that. One night, I had to stay late at work and finish a project. When I walked in the door Robert was sitting with the channel changer in one hand and a beer in the other.
"Can't you come straight home from work just once?"
When I tried to calm him down he threw his beer and the channel changer at the television and stormed out of the apartment. The next morning he apologized for blowing up and said he was under a lot of pressure at work. He asked me to forgive him. A few weeks later, the girls from work made plans to go out for a night on the town. I didn't think it was such a big deal. Robert was going to a basketball game with some people from work and I really didn't feel like staying home by myself. When I came home, Robert had just arrived.
"Where have you been?"
"I went out with some girls after work, why?"
"Those bimbos who go out and meet men like whores. Is that what you want to do? Is that what you like? Cause if it is, you can go out that door."
I was stunned and hurt by Robert's words. When I called home for some comforting reassurance, I was amazed as to how hard it was to lie and say how fine everything was going between Robert and I.
A few months later we learned I was pregnant. When I shared the news with Robert, he was so excited. Then at dinner that evening he asked when I was going to give my notice at work.
"I thought I'd work until the baby is born."
"Absolutely not," he said. "No wife of mine is going to work while she is pregnant." So, at his insistence, I gave my notice and began looking for a house. I thought things would get better, but Robert grew more irritated and impatient. When we brought our son home from the hospital, the baby would wake up nights and cry and Robert would get upset. Nothing I did seemed right. If dinner wasn't on the table the moment he walked in the door, he would scream louder then the baby. If my hair wasn't fixed the way he liked me to keep it, he would accuse me of not caring anymore. If he'd call during the day from work and I wasn't home, he would demand to know who I was with that day. I couldn't understand. I loved him so much, why was he treating me this way? I continued to ask God for guidence, but somehow it didn't stop the hurt I felt inside. When I went to my pastor, he told me to continue praying and to reach out to family members for support.
So When I called my sister and explained what was going on, she didn't believe me. She said I needed to pay more attention to Robert. So, I took her advice and tried to make things better at home. After our second child was born, I hardly left the house. And I had no time for myself.
One night Robert came home from work late. He'd been drinking. He demanded I put the children to bed. When I didn't get off the couch fast enough, he slapped me.
"Did you hear what I said? What part didn't you understand?"
I stood up, stunned, put the children to bed, locked the door to the den and went to sleep. The next day Robert left for work before I got up. That afternoon a dozen roses arrived with a note from Robert saying he was sorry. For a couple of weeks things were great, but that didn't last long.
One night after I put the kids to bed he wanted to fool around. I was just too tired. I had been up for two nights straight while the kids took turns with the flu. When I pushed Robert's hand away, he became angry, accusing me of having an affair. Then before I knew it, he pulled the belt from his pants and began beating me with it. I screamed for him to stop; the more I screamed the harder he hit me. Then he began shouting,
"You little bitch, you little bitch, defy me will you, this will teach you. I'm your husband, you do what I say when and where I want, do you understand me."
In the background you could hear the children screaming. All of a sudden there was a heavy knock at the door.
"Open up, police, open the door now."
Robert got up turned around to go to the door, he pulled a comb out of his back pocket combed his hair and tried to straighten his appearance before he answered. The officer demanded to be let in the house. He made his way around Robert into the corner of the living room where he found me hovering in the corner. The officer slowly helped me from the floor onto the sofa. Then he gave his partner the order to cuff Robert.
"But you're making a mistake, you can't do this, what do you think you're doing?" Robert said. He kept going on an on about his rights.
Shortly afterwards the paramedics arrived to treat my injuries. Suprisingly, everyone was so nice. When the officer insisted I go to the hospital, I refused.
"I'll be fine," I explained. "And besides, I have no one to leave the children with."
I was so numb and terrified, I didn't know what to do and everything everyone was saying wasn't registering. Here I was this grown woman, with two small children, a responsible individual. How could I have allowed this to happen? Why didn't I see? What did I do to provoke this outburst? Why was God allowing this to continue. How much more can I take, I thought.
Before the officer left, he gave me telephone numbers of where to get further assistance. When I got the children back in bed and settled, I sat at the kitchen table just staring at the sheet of paper that was given to me. I decided to give one of the numbers a try. When I asked about services, I was told that they were full, try back in a week. I continued calling the other hotline numbers. I kept getting the same response, "Sorry, we're full."
HOME, SWEET HOME
Feeling as though I had no other alternatives, I decided to call my mom. I decided to go home for a visit. When I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, I was horrified. My face was swollen and bruised, my neck, arms and back were raw and red with a lot of my skin broken.
Then I called the police station where my husband had been taken. They informed me that it would be around noon the following day before he sees a judge and bail is set. When I got the strength and my second wind, I packed up the jeep with some of the kids' toys and clothes. We left early the next morning for my parents' house.
When we finally arrived, my parents came out to help me along with the family pastor. The expression on my parents' faces was one of horror. My father wanted to find Robert and teach him a lesson for harming his little girl. We got settled, I sat with my parents and my pastor and we talked things out.
The Pastor suggested I write down what I needed to do. And before he left we all got down on our knees and prayed togather. I pulled out the yellow pages and looked up legal assistance offices, women's groups and attorneys. I spent the next four hours on the phone. Everywhere I called wanted personal information or history before they would even speak with me. Then I was told no one would be able to contact me for a few weeks because they were booked. Then I began calling private attorneys everyone was pretty matter of fact. The first questions were about resources, net worth, what was my current financial status. And unless I had twenty-five hundred dollars for a retainer when I walked in, they wouldn't help me. So I decided to call around to the various churches for direction. I found them very supportive and helpful.
After dinner that evening Robert called and demanded to speak with me.
"She's not here," my father said.
Robert kept calling and when my father had had enough, he blew.
"Listen, you call here again and I will call the police. Stay away from me and my family."
After the children were asleep, my parents and I resumed our conversation and we discussed what I wanted to do and what was best for all concerned. It was a blessing that my parents were willing to do anything they could to help me, and for the first time I didn't feel alone.
The next day, someone from a church office returned my call. I was asked so many questions, I felt confused. There seemed to be so much to do that I wasn't aware of because I had never been in this situation before. That afternoon, I scheduled an appointment with an attorney recommened by a local church.
ROBERT'S RIGHTS
The first thing the attorney did was to take pictures of me with an instant camera. Then he explained my legal options and alternatives. He also tried to prepare me for what might happen. He suggested that this was not going to be easy, I wasn't going to just be able to get rid of this man and throw him out of my life. He said Robert had rights too even though he's committed a crime. The attorney wanted me to understand that because we had children, Robert had a right to be a part of their lives. And that even if I had sole custody, Robert, under the law, had a right to visitation. Then after we finished our meeting the attorney asked if I would pray with him.
I was very confused, but for the first time I felt God's presence with me. All of this seemed as though it was happening so fast. The attorney suggested that because I didn't have an Emergency Order of Protection that we fill out the paperwork in his office, head over to the court building and get one now. He indicated that we would have no problem based on my injuries and police reports. I was so scared. I had never set foot in a coutroom before; it was cold and smelled like damp, musty wood. It was nothing like you see on television, except the "All rise" when the judge enters the courtroom. When my name was called, my attorney gently guided me by the arm and we went in front of the judge. My attorney spoke first.
"Your honor I'm... representing my client, Jennifer Serpico. As you can see before you judge, my client has been badly beaten. We are here today to obtain an emergency order of protection for she and the children. In addition, we ask the court to grant temporary custody to Mrs.Serpico pending the outcome of a divorce, your honor."
Then the judge spoke, "Clerk, swear in the witness."
"Raise your right hand..do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
"I do," I replied. Then the clerk held up a piece of paper and asked if that was my signature. "Yes," I stated. Then for the record I was asked to state my name, address and age. The judge asked me to briefly explain what happened. When my attorney told the judge it was in the paperwork before him, the judge told him to be quiet and asked me to answer the question. I tried to explain, but I couldn't. I lost it and began crying.
Slam, went the judge's gavel. "The court will take a brief recess while the witness composes herself."
"I'm sorry," I told my attorney." Did I make him angry?"
"No,"in a gentle voice he replied," just calm down and we'll try again."
When the court was called back to order the judge reappeared from the side door of the court. He looked down at me. "Are we ready to proceed"?
"Yes your honor," I replied. I tried taking a few deep breaths in between sentences to explain what Robert had done and that I was in fear for my life. When I finished the judge spoke.
"The court finds in favor of granting Mrs. Serpico an emergency order of protection based on the witness's testimony and physical injuries apparent before this court. The court further orders that the witness be granted temporary custody of the minor children. Next return date in 21 days. Good luck." Then he tapped his gavel and the court person called the next case.
When I asked why we had to return back to court the attorney explained that Robert would have to appear before the judge and my order would then be renewed depending on the circumstances of my case. There was so much I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to take any more of my attorney's time and most of all I didn't want to appear stupid.
ROBERT RETURNS
A few days later Robert appeared at my parents' house, demanding to speak with me. My father refused to let him in the house. The following night my parents and I were awakened by a large noise outside. When I peeked out the upstairs bedroom window, I spotted Robert's car down the street. I began screaming, "It's Robert, he's back."
My father ordered us to stay in the house and to contact the police. You could hear my father having it out on the front lawn with Robert. It was also obvious that Robert had been drinking. When my father turned around to go back in the house, we heard a loud noise like a car backfiring. Then all was quiet. I called 911 again, trying to get assistance. I heard my mother whisper to stay put. When the police arrived, they found my father unconscious lying with a bullet wound to his back. Robert was nowhere in sight. The police immediately put out an all points bulletin on the radio.
They were throwing so many questions at us. They wanted a description of Robert, the car, what we saw. Several minutes later a call for backup came over the police radio. It sounded like they had Robert in sight going 90 miles an hour on the state highway. You could hear the chase like a made for television movie. It sounded like several cars were in pursuit of my husband all at one time. When the ambulance came, my mother went with my father to the hospital.
An hour or so later a squad car pulled up to the house. The officer approached me, "Mrs. Serpico?"
"Yes," I replied.
"We're checking, but we believe we've located Robert Serpico. We'll know in just a few minutes."
The following day, the doctors took my father off the critical list and moved him to a regular room. I was still in shock with the news that Robert was dead.
According to the police, while in pursuit of Robert who was going at a high speed, his car went out of conrtol, sliding off the road and over a bridge. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
Even though he was gone, the memory of the violence and the anger I felt were still inside of me. You would think it just goes away, but it doesn't. I learned that I had to deal with all of this. That meant there had to be a conclusion to all of this. It's taken over a year through therapy just to get past the violence and why he did this. I still have a long way to go and with the assistance of professional counseling there is hope that I will recover and begin again to rebuild my life.
Patricia's story ends with the tragic death of her husband, but she still has much to grieve from the abuse she received as well as his death. She has since remarried and volunteers at a local women's shelter.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
The most important thing you can do for a friend or family member who's being abused is to let the person know you care. They need to know that you are there for them, no matter what. If you see signs or specific behavior patterns in a loved one or friend, you cannot look away. Here are some things to be alert to. Is she:
*Not coming to family gatherings or outings?
*Making excuses for not showing up when they're expected?
*Wearing clothes that hide arms and legs during hot
weather.
*Appearing irritable or depressed?
*Talking about trouble in the relationship?
*Openly admitting emotional, physical or sexual abuse?
These are all signs of abuse.
If someone is trying to reach out to you for help, don't pass it off as a one time incident. Abuse is against the law; these are not accidents, they are crimes. If you choose to ignore appeals for help, she could be killed, and there will be no more choices to make, except to pick up the pieces. Listen to the person who comes to you for assistance or advice. Don't judge her. Do not minimize the extent of what she says is going on.
Abuse is not a "One Size Fits All" Solution. Like our own fingerprints no two cases of abuse are the same. Our society does not make it okay for anyone to say "I need help" or I am a victim of abuse or a broken relationship", when there is so much contempt for weakness and submissiveness.
The names, addresses and telephone numbers of programs and agencies who assist victims of domestic violence are located in your phone book under social service agencies. Or you can search the internet.
Sit down at the kitchen table with her, take paper and pen and help her with a safety plan or to set goals. Let her know you will help and support her in every way. If you know someone who is being abused, but you are fearful of confronting that person, send them information anonymously. Don't look the other way. Do something!
About The Girls And Why Western Girls Losing Ground !!!
Have you ever seen an ex-pat with a farang (in Thai language= foreigner/westerner) girlfriend? Me neither. Throughout Thailand, farang girls have been swapped for Thais in a manner reminiscent of the 1950’s science fiction classic Invasion of the body snatchers - "it’s some kind of pod... aaagh!" Why does this happen?Loads of farang girls enjoy holidaying in Thailand with their boyfriends. It’s the ones who come with their girlie mates who discover that the fortnight is not as fun-filled as they had hoped. Just like the rest of humanity, western girls relish the chance to meet new people and get fucked rotten. It’s the second part of the equation that Thailand often fails to deliver – for girls, anyway.I visited the island of Koh Samed a few months ago and noticed a group of pretty English girls who were out looking for a good time. In Ibiza, these provocatively dressed minxes would’ve had to beat the fellas off with a shitty stick. On Koh Samed, however, they partied alone. There are no girlie bars on the island, so the western guys had all played it safe and brought their Thai sweethearts along.As the girls’ frustration mounted, one of them copped-off with a Thai waiter. There was no age gap but the height gap was a bit noticeable. She popped him into her pocket and took him back for a night of fun in her bungalow.Next day, I was lucky enough to overhear part of the post-mortem. Apparently he was quite sweet but had burst into tears when she asked him to use a condom. His English was quite basic but he was able to explain his family problems and financial difficulties.The topic was dropped when her new boyfriend arrived with a couple of his little mates. He was wearing her T-shirt. Food and drink was ordered and the girls footed the bill. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, although the other girls weren’t giving out any fuck-me vibes to his mates.Their patience was rewarded when a couple of days later a group of good looking English lads turned up unaccompanied. The two groups soon became one. The new Thai boyfriend went into limpet-mode and showered his girl with public displays of affection. Her discomfort was obvious. Even after she dumped him, he hovered around like a bad fart.The whole episode was priceless entertainment and it illustrates well the sexual politics that make farang girls hate Thailand. It seems that the dating strategies employed by some Thai men are not far removed from those of their fun-loving sisters. The sickly confection of charm and freeloading is served up with a large dollop of jealousy.Men can never resist second helpings but why do women find this dish so unpalatable? It’s because they want their men to be strong, dependable, generous, respectful, kind, high-status, intelligent, hard working, sincere etc. The list just goes on and on. If you fall short of their ideal, they won’t hold back in telling you about it either – in endless detail.Men value these things too, but they don’t bang on about it so much. If she’s cute and funny, a man can generally forgive a girl her shortcomings. The western girl in our story was turned-off by the waiter’s whining. As men, we are used to sharing our lives with women who whine and it’s just water off a duck’s back. What we are not used to, however, are women who restrict their whining merely to asking for pocket money. It’s a breath of fresh air.When it comes to snaring a man, Thai girls leave their western sisters at the starting gate. It’s not just their cheeky charm and good looks. The killer punch is how they make a man feel valued. To do this, they give him their undivided attention and refrain from hurtful criticism. In other words, they show him that they value him warts and all (even if they don’t). They may only be after his money but, if a guy is happy, he probably doesn’t care.Western women just can’t stomach the indignity of lowering themselves to this level. That’s why in Bangkok they are generally seen out alone. Their chances of finding a boyfriend are slim and of keeping one slimmer. Some are reduced to paying Thai men for sex. It doesn’t take long for them to become bitter and unhappy. They could do with losing a few pounds too.There is, however, some hope for our sex-starved farang chicks with attitude. A few thrifty guys have plugged into this niche market to save themselves 1,000 baht a night. Reportedly, it’s like shooting blonde pussy in a barrel. The wise swordsman will go back to her place, boot the soft toys off the bed and quickly dump his load before getting back to join the lads for last orders.
7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure.
2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight.
3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right.
4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.
5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him.
6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit.
7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.
1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure.
2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight.
3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right.
4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.
5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him.
6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit.
7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.
The Art Of Approaching Women
The Art Of Approaching Women.
Are you tired of being lonely? Anyone could learn easily the art of approaching women. I know you might be thinking about the facts which you know about approaching women which never worked in your life. The first thing that you got to know is that Women don't think in the way the men do. Looks don't matter much for a woman as much as for a man. Women like if you approach them. Now this is something which not many of us know. We think that if one girl rejects us, the rest will reject us too. Now what do you know about approaching a woman. One thing that you might have learnt is that you will have to be a girl's friend before stepping any further whereas the fact is something different. Every word of it is true but you will have to learn it.
Are you tired of being lonely? Anyone could learn easily the art of approaching women. I know you might be thinking about the facts which you know about approaching women which never worked in your life. The first thing that you got to know is that Women don't think in the way the men do. Looks don't matter much for a woman as much as for a man. Women like if you approach them. Now this is something which not many of us know. We think that if one girl rejects us, the rest will reject us too. Now what do you know about approaching a woman. One thing that you might have learnt is that you will have to be a girl's friend before stepping any further whereas the fact is something different. Every word of it is true but you will have to learn it.
The Magic Of Making Up (Get Your Ex Back.)
The Magic Of Making Up (Get Your Ex Back.)
Have you lost your mate? Do you have the desire to get your ex back in your life? Then this is the right article you are reading. The good news for all of you people out there is the fact that 'Most Relations in life could be salvaged'. You may start writing down the reasons why your ex left you. Maybe because of infidelity, loss of interest, a stolen heart or any other reason that you may know. Its doesn't matter. You can be pretty sure that you can get your ex back. 'Couples re-unite everyday regardless of the situation. There are simple and silly mistakes that you have done in your life because of which your mate left you. And these mistakes are so obvious that almost everyone does it almost sub-consciously even after having spent several thousands on the counselors. But let me warn you of them. It might take you years if you follow those conventional methods. And believe me, love won't wait that long. So what are you waiting for? Get your love back in your life.
Have you lost your mate? Do you have the desire to get your ex back in your life? Then this is the right article you are reading. The good news for all of you people out there is the fact that 'Most Relations in life could be salvaged'. You may start writing down the reasons why your ex left you. Maybe because of infidelity, loss of interest, a stolen heart or any other reason that you may know. Its doesn't matter. You can be pretty sure that you can get your ex back. 'Couples re-unite everyday regardless of the situation. There are simple and silly mistakes that you have done in your life because of which your mate left you. And these mistakes are so obvious that almost everyone does it almost sub-consciously even after having spent several thousands on the counselors. But let me warn you of them. It might take you years if you follow those conventional methods. And believe me, love won't wait that long. So what are you waiting for? Get your love back in your life.
Save My Marriage Today!
Save My Marriage Today!
Is your marriage in trouble? Many people are workaholic, some others do not have a good communication with their mates, some others don't show the interest in their life. Amy Waterman will teach you the do's and don'ts for saving your marriage today. You have to know the fact that you may be making critical mistakes first time in your married life which may affect your marriage unknowingly. But there is a method which applies to virtually every case. The secrets that you will learn has successfully worked for hundreds of couples in life.
The most important aspect of marriage that you need to understand is the responsibility. Suppose your partner has left you and you do all kinds of stuffs to get her back like calling her continuously, doing all the things she likes, etc. But what you don't understand is that this will only make her more negative about returning to you back because she knows that she doesn't need to hold any responsibility of the marriage which in this case, you do. This is just one of the points that I discussed with you. If you want to save your marriage, you should visit the web page by following the link above.
The Woman Men Adore... and Never Want Them To Leave
The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want To Leave.
Learn how to captivate a man, make him fall in love with you, and give you the world !!!
Learn the secret of understanding men and using it to your advantage. There are many reasons why women have relationship troubles and I am sure you will want to keep away from them. Do you know that everything you have learnt about how to attract and keep a man is wrong? Although men may not admit openly, but they like to be loved, lured, seduced by a woman. A man would give away anything to the woman who can make him feel good. Its upto you 'Woman' to keep a man or to make him stay.
Learn how to captivate a man, make him fall in love with you, and give you the world !!!
Learn the secret of understanding men and using it to your advantage. There are many reasons why women have relationship troubles and I am sure you will want to keep away from them. Do you know that everything you have learnt about how to attract and keep a man is wrong? Although men may not admit openly, but they like to be loved, lured, seduced by a woman. A man would give away anything to the woman who can make him feel good. Its upto you 'Woman' to keep a man or to make him stay.
Guy Gets Girl
GuyGetsGirl.com.
Are you having any problems about how to approach a woman? Guygetsgirl.com can help you get your dream girl irrespective of your looks or your bank balance. You will get to learn the powerful secrets that will skyrocket your sex life and make wonderful women beg you to date them. As a matter of fact, if you do or say somethings in some peculiar way, then they naturally get attracted towards you. So if you are one of those who is tired of rejection then this is your last chance, to never get hurt by rejection again. You will get an instant access to the secrets that will give you a total control of your every female encounter. If you really want to change your love life from this day onwards, then visit the link right now.
Are you having any problems about how to approach a woman? Guygetsgirl.com can help you get your dream girl irrespective of your looks or your bank balance. You will get to learn the powerful secrets that will skyrocket your sex life and make wonderful women beg you to date them. As a matter of fact, if you do or say somethings in some peculiar way, then they naturally get attracted towards you. So if you are one of those who is tired of rejection then this is your last chance, to never get hurt by rejection again. You will get an instant access to the secrets that will give you a total control of your every female encounter. If you really want to change your love life from this day onwards, then visit the link right now.
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