Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost
everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps
you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the
love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of
its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family
or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a
fizzling relationship that might just put some of the
bubble back into the champagne of your life.
1. Do something unexpected. Send your partner
flowers at work. That applies to men, too! Or take them
out for dinner on a weeknight.
2. What lit your fire to start with? Strike the match
again, by duplicating that initial moment you fell in love
with your partner, and be sure to tell them why you've
created this just for them.
3. Communicate. If you find it hard to say things, try
surprising your better half with notes in their lunch, on
their pillow, in the car, etc. Often the written word opens
other doors.
4. Make time just for you. And don't break the date!
Book babysitters ahead or clear your work calendar so
there is nobody on it but the other person.
5. Get out of the rut!-literally. Take your partner
somewhere new, and alone. Even if it's just a cabin on
the lake. Rediscover each other all over.
6. Find something you like about your partner, every
day. Then tell them what it is.
7. Find a shared interest. Explore new hobbies,
sports, or other interests that you both like, and can
participate in together.
8. Accept your partner's faults. Then admit your
own. Make an effort not to keep repeating them out of
laziness or habit.
9. Get physical. Touch your partner. In compassion,
sympathy, friendship, and sexual attraction. Let them
know that you are there.
10. Make promises, and keep them. Slip a note into
their wallet or purse that says what is being served for
dinner tonight, and promise that dessert will be worth
waiting for!
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Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship
Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship
?Copyright 2005 Micheline
Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost
everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps
you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the
love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of
its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family
or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a
fizzling relationship that might just put some of the
bubble back into the champagne of your life.
1. Do something unexpected. Send your partner
flowers at work. That applies to men, too! Or take them
out for dinner on a weeknight.
2. What lit your fire to start with? Strike the match
again, by duplicating that initial moment you fell in love
with your partner, and be sure to tell them why you've
created this just for them.
3. Communicate. If you find it hard to say things, try
surprising your better half with notes in their lunch, on
their pillow, in the car, etc. Often the written word opens
other doors.
4. Make time just for you. And don't break the date!
Book babysitters ahead or clear your work calendar so
there is nobody on it but the other person.
5. Get out of the rut!-literally. Take your partner
somewhere new, and alone. Even if it's just a cabin on
the lake. Rediscover each other all over.
6. Find something you like about your partner, every
day. Then tell them what it is.
7. Find a shared interest. Explore new hobbies,
sports, or other interests that you both like, and can
participate in together.
8. Accept your partner's faults. Then admit your
own. Make an effort not to keep repeating them out of
laziness or habit.
9. Get physical. Touch your partner. In compassion,
sympathy, friendship, and sexual attraction. Let them
know that you are there.
10. Make promises, and keep them. Slip a note into
their wallet or purse that says what is being served for
dinner tonight, and promise that dessert will be worth
waiting for!
?Copyright 2005 Micheline
Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost
everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps
you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the
love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of
its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family
or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a
fizzling relationship that might just put some of the
bubble back into the champagne of your life.
1. Do something unexpected. Send your partner
flowers at work. That applies to men, too! Or take them
out for dinner on a weeknight.
2. What lit your fire to start with? Strike the match
again, by duplicating that initial moment you fell in love
with your partner, and be sure to tell them why you've
created this just for them.
3. Communicate. If you find it hard to say things, try
surprising your better half with notes in their lunch, on
their pillow, in the car, etc. Often the written word opens
other doors.
4. Make time just for you. And don't break the date!
Book babysitters ahead or clear your work calendar so
there is nobody on it but the other person.
5. Get out of the rut!-literally. Take your partner
somewhere new, and alone. Even if it's just a cabin on
the lake. Rediscover each other all over.
6. Find something you like about your partner, every
day. Then tell them what it is.
7. Find a shared interest. Explore new hobbies,
sports, or other interests that you both like, and can
participate in together.
8. Accept your partner's faults. Then admit your
own. Make an effort not to keep repeating them out of
laziness or habit.
9. Get physical. Touch your partner. In compassion,
sympathy, friendship, and sexual attraction. Let them
know that you are there.
10. Make promises, and keep them. Slip a note into
their wallet or purse that says what is being served for
dinner tonight, and promise that dessert will be worth
waiting for!
The Best Way to Pick Up a Girl
You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But nobody to
introduce her to you. "Ah, I'll do a James Bond on her," you
think. Now what was Bond's first words to Pussy Galore? "I
must be dreaming." No, that won't work. How about singing
"Underneath the Mango Tree" to her as Bond did to Honey Rider
in "Dr. No". Ah? No!
Well, what's left? You'll just have to go up and talk to her,
if it's a situation where you won't see her again. But it's
always safe to assume that she has a boyfriend that can squeeze
the stuffings out of a gold ball. That aside, take a chance
and make polite conversation. What's the worst that can happen.
She says, "I'm sorry, I'm not available." and you save the
time and money of a date with her. Like George Burns says,
"When a beautiful woman says "no" to me, it's a relief.
If you know that you will see her again, like at your university,
your job, or working at a restaurant, you can have another shot
at her and use the shy man's approach to getting a date.
"You farm boys don't make a pitch, you just shy your way into
position," Ann Margaret says to Pat Boone in "State Fair".
Okay, here it is. Instead of asking her to dinner or out on a
date which has romance intended, get some tickets to a concert
or event first, and then with tickets in hand say, "I just
happened to have tickets to this event. If you'd like to go
with me, I'd be happy to take you." This way the subject is
the event. Talk about the person singing at the concert,
instead of if the two of you could hit it off or not. She can
easily say yes or no, or ask more questions about you or the
time and place of the event. She doesn't have the pressure of
turning you down, so she can just turn the event down and that
will be that. And if by chance she can't make that date, but
is interested in you, she can start talking about going out
another time.
I've strongly suggested this "ticket" technique to both men and
women who are infatuated with someone at work, or at shop, or
restaurant, and have no idea how to make an approach. If the
person is available, they usually say yes to an invitation.
After all, it's just going to an event. It's not really a
date.
I used this "ticket" technique in college to ask out a beautiful
stranger. I was very shy, but was "in love" from a distance so
I had to take some kind of scary attraction. Her name was Cindy
and I often saw her in the student lounge surrounded by guys.
It took weeks of watching her before I could catch her walking
alone, and ask her if she'd like to go see the reserved seat
Cinerama showing of "Grand Prix". She said, "Well, I don't
know you, but if you come and talk to me sometimes and I get
to know you, then maybe."
So in the next days I made an attempts at getting in a few words
with her as she talked with her friends. Then I found out she
was taking the film appreciation class that I had taken a
semester earlier. So I pushed the teacher to show my new 16mm
action film in the class that she was in. He fiqured I had a
secret motive because he said he'd show it in the morning class,
but I said it had to be shown in the afternoon class (the one
Cindy was in). Finally, he agreed.
I not only directed the film, but had a part in it where I used
my newly learned karate and hoped she would be impressed. The
film went over great with the class cheering and applauding.
As she was leaving the class I said to her, "Well, do you know
me well enough now?" She said, "To go out with you? I replied,
"Yes." She smiled and nodded her head yes.
So don't "ask her out". Don't "take her to dinner". Get some
tickets, and maybe she'll answer you like Cameron Diaz does in
"Charlie's Angels". "Tickets? I love tickets!"
introduce her to you. "Ah, I'll do a James Bond on her," you
think. Now what was Bond's first words to Pussy Galore? "I
must be dreaming." No, that won't work. How about singing
"Underneath the Mango Tree" to her as Bond did to Honey Rider
in "Dr. No". Ah? No!
Well, what's left? You'll just have to go up and talk to her,
if it's a situation where you won't see her again. But it's
always safe to assume that she has a boyfriend that can squeeze
the stuffings out of a gold ball. That aside, take a chance
and make polite conversation. What's the worst that can happen.
She says, "I'm sorry, I'm not available." and you save the
time and money of a date with her. Like George Burns says,
"When a beautiful woman says "no" to me, it's a relief.
If you know that you will see her again, like at your university,
your job, or working at a restaurant, you can have another shot
at her and use the shy man's approach to getting a date.
"You farm boys don't make a pitch, you just shy your way into
position," Ann Margaret says to Pat Boone in "State Fair".
Okay, here it is. Instead of asking her to dinner or out on a
date which has romance intended, get some tickets to a concert
or event first, and then with tickets in hand say, "I just
happened to have tickets to this event. If you'd like to go
with me, I'd be happy to take you." This way the subject is
the event. Talk about the person singing at the concert,
instead of if the two of you could hit it off or not. She can
easily say yes or no, or ask more questions about you or the
time and place of the event. She doesn't have the pressure of
turning you down, so she can just turn the event down and that
will be that. And if by chance she can't make that date, but
is interested in you, she can start talking about going out
another time.
I've strongly suggested this "ticket" technique to both men and
women who are infatuated with someone at work, or at shop, or
restaurant, and have no idea how to make an approach. If the
person is available, they usually say yes to an invitation.
After all, it's just going to an event. It's not really a
date.
I used this "ticket" technique in college to ask out a beautiful
stranger. I was very shy, but was "in love" from a distance so
I had to take some kind of scary attraction. Her name was Cindy
and I often saw her in the student lounge surrounded by guys.
It took weeks of watching her before I could catch her walking
alone, and ask her if she'd like to go see the reserved seat
Cinerama showing of "Grand Prix". She said, "Well, I don't
know you, but if you come and talk to me sometimes and I get
to know you, then maybe."
So in the next days I made an attempts at getting in a few words
with her as she talked with her friends. Then I found out she
was taking the film appreciation class that I had taken a
semester earlier. So I pushed the teacher to show my new 16mm
action film in the class that she was in. He fiqured I had a
secret motive because he said he'd show it in the morning class,
but I said it had to be shown in the afternoon class (the one
Cindy was in). Finally, he agreed.
I not only directed the film, but had a part in it where I used
my newly learned karate and hoped she would be impressed. The
film went over great with the class cheering and applauding.
As she was leaving the class I said to her, "Well, do you know
me well enough now?" She said, "To go out with you? I replied,
"Yes." She smiled and nodded her head yes.
So don't "ask her out". Don't "take her to dinner". Get some
tickets, and maybe she'll answer you like Cameron Diaz does in
"Charlie's Angels". "Tickets? I love tickets!"
SOUL SHOCK - The real soulmate phenomenon
'The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand.' -Robert Vallett
If you've met someone who's changed you forever
If you love someone so much you realize you just weren't alive before them
If you've met someone who's awakened you to the unbelievable beauty of existence
If you've met someone who is more you than even you are
If you miss someone so much you can't even conceive of existing without them
If you've lost someone and it feels like your soul left with them then read on…
Typical of many cases I deal with is the story of Fiona and Robert.
I first met Fiona when she booked a telephone reading and I realized she was suffering a great deal of pain and confusion from the recent breakup of her relationship with Robert. I recommended she seek healing and, a week later, she arrived at my door.
I wish I had a cent for every tear that has been shed on that end of my sofa -- it's a wonder it isn't afloat by now. Seeing people in complete despair is a common occurrence for me but it never gets any easier watching someone fall apart, not least because I've been there. Some days, you just wonder what the human race is coming to when people can hurt others in the way this girl was hurting. However, she was here now and I was going to help her.
Her total devastation and confusion was apparent and, as I read both her energies and Robert's, I realized this was a very strong metaphysical ( soul mate ) connection, hence the level of suffering she was enduring. She told me her story, described what seemed an ideal relationship - until, in the midst of it, Robert had turned tail and run without warning. To add to her grief and despair, within a week he had hooked up with someone else and told her he wasn't coming back.
As in most of these cases, by tuning into him I knew he was in love with her. Fiona, however, was in no position to believe this, not based on his actions. It was totally clear to me, however, that the bond between them was strong and had grown ever stronger and stronger whilst they were together, to the point that it scared the hell out of Robert.
How do you tell someone that a person they love has hurt them because they love them too much? How do you explain that the 'runner' fears the intensity of the connection? I could tell this other woman meant nothing to Robert and was just a shoulder for him to cry on. But, to Fiona, it seemed he had been a cheater and had callously lied about loving her. That's a very natural assumption when someone you trust totally turns a one eighty and goes off with someone else without warning.
For those of us who are emotionally and spiritually open to love on any level, the idea of someone running from happiness is bizarre and cruel in the extreme. Fiona was struggling to make sense of it and wasn't winning at all, which added to her immense grief.
As I began her healing and looked at what had happened to her energies, I realized she was suffering from what I call 'soul shock.' When someone you have a deep connection with suddenly pulls away, the dis-connect leaves you feeling as if your soul has left your body, like an empty shell. You just can't get back to reality and you can feel as if you simply exist.
This experience is similar to grieving the death of a loved one and I know many counselors, at least those who accept and understand connections, who will treat this pain in the same way as a bereavement
. What we're talking about here is not a conventional emotional relationship. A soul connection is the most powerful soul level connection with someone and when separations like this occur you just can't "get over it" or "move on" however hard you try. Many people can't eat sleep or work for a long time, a lot end up on medication and in counseling.
Even after more cases than I can remember, it never fails to amaze me how powerful healing is and what a perfect tool it can be for dealing with soul mate connections. I pulled Robert's energy away from Fiona's so that she wasn't being tugged around like a leaf in a gale by his confusion. This process forced out some of her grief.
Unexpressed emotions are debilitating and dangerous, so I opened up her heart chakra and used a technique I call 'accelerated bereavement.' This acceleration brings out the despair and pain in a burst of crying that's so deep you know it's from the soul. But, after twenty minutes or so, this incredible pain eases and the subject calms. That's exactly what happened with Fiona.
What is unique about soul connections is that we feel our partner's grief and confusion and they feel ours. This creates a tsunami of pain as the energy flows across our spiritual link and bounces each of us around like two corks on a string. Putting a block in a place eases 'soul shock' tremendously, so that's what I did to allow Fiona a chance to get on her feet again.
As the weeks and months went by, I saw her and treated her on a regular basis. Throughout that time, she grew slowly but progressively stronger, even as she continued to ache badly from the pain of separation from Robert. When you are separated from a soul mate, you miss your partner every minute of the day and most days are nothing more than a torture of aching and needing. The soul mate connection is unlike a conventional relationship for, in these cases, the pain of separation doesn't lessen. Some days it feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner.
Fiona experienced all of this and more, although with readings and healing I was able to reduce the worst of the excesses and keep up her hope that the situation would resolve itself and Robert would come back. At times, she would call in total pain and disbelief and ask how anything could hurt so much and why couldn't she just get over him? As always, I explained that a connection so strong was something we have little control over and, in time, he would return. While we wait, all we can do is stay strong and accept what has happened. Trying to understand why just adds to the torture.
In time, Robert did contact her. Fiona, however, found it very difficult to talk to him. He frequently contradicted himself and didn't seem to have a clue what he was doing, how he felt or what he wanted. This, of course, made it much harder for her to be in contact with the man she loved so much, as she still struggled to make sense of why he had run in the first place.
This is a very common albeit totally bizarre and bewildering phase that nearly always occurs in these relationships. While the more aware soul feels the immense sense of pain and loss, the 'runner,' who mostly has a ton of issues, is absolutely confused by the power of the connection and will seem to contradict themselves and not know quite what's going on. It's common to hear 'I love you,' then a week later, 'I don't love you,' and a host of other seemingly weird behaviors.
Understand, however, that this is your soul partner struggling to understand what's going on within them, as they are also totally overwhelmed by the feelings and confusion that the connection brings.
At this point, I asked Fiona to trust me and to follow some simple rules for communication. She agreed when she realized the present interaction was confusing her even more. I asked Fiona to set out what she wanted from Robert, make it clear to him, then to back away. To insist that, if and when he called, she didn't want to hear how bad his life was, especially after she had offered everything to make him happy. And that if he could not be there for her, then to put the phone down.
Staying strong in this phase takes an awful lot of guts and faith when your runner seems so close to returning. To push them away unless certain criteria are met is scary when you so fear losing them again. But Fiona did it… And, as in most cases, after a while it worked. It's said that runners return properly when the pain of separation is greater than the fear of commitment.
And by refusing to negotiate on anything other than coming together properly, Fiona made Robert realize he had to face this once and for all or lose her.
They met, they talked, she called me. Robert had accepted he couldn't go on as he had and he was prepared to face his fears and give it a go. Many more meetings occurred before Fiona was sure he was ready and knew that he would face his fear of commitment.
When finally they both came together again, and had put the past behind them, Fiona asked Robert to come to me for a reading and consultation. Seeing a runner is a rare opportunity for me, because when most reconciliations occur, my work is done.
Robert arrived and it was apparent he had no idea what to expect. I gave him a psychic reading and saw what was going on within him and how he had struggled to make sense of the past couple of years. What he said was a real eye opener for me, a rare chance to see how the incredible intensity of a soul connection can scare the daylights out of someone seemingly so strong and together.
He started talking about a time before Christmas when he realized just how deeply he felt for Fiona and, although he had always shunned commitment of any sort, he had decided to ask her to marry him. On his way to buy a ring, he talked to a friend about marriage and said he suddenly became very scared and unsure. He never did tell me what the friend said but whatever it was plugged deep into his fears. After that, instead of asking her to marry him, Robert told Fiona it was over and that he had found someone else.
If you're astounded reading this, so was I when I heard it. His thinking was that he couldn't go through with it and maybe he wasn't good enough for her.
What if he wasn't ready, what if it didn't work? All the other fear and insecurity-based questions rose up in him. His thinking was if she thought he had someone else, she could move on and not follow him.
When runners run, they really do run. Robert had demonstrated absolute mastery of the runner 180-degree speed turn. It was obvious that this man was unsure about himself - never mind what he could offer in a relationship. He made all his decisions from the head, not the heart. He mistakenly assumed Fiona could 'get over it.' It's one of the most frustrating things when runners make assumptions and don't give the other partner a chance. That's just what this one did.
However, now Robert was back and he was talking to me and that meant he wanted to understand what this was about and how he could deal with it. This was a terrific omen for the couple's future.
The outcome was that Robert did start to deal with his demons. His karmic lesson was to realize that he couldn't live life by purely mental decisions. He learnt that his heart wouldn't stay away and that fighting the connection only hurt them both and, ultimately, didn't work.
I now have an invitation to their wedding on my desk
If you've met someone who's changed you forever
If you love someone so much you realize you just weren't alive before them
If you've met someone who's awakened you to the unbelievable beauty of existence
If you've met someone who is more you than even you are
If you miss someone so much you can't even conceive of existing without them
If you've lost someone and it feels like your soul left with them then read on…
Typical of many cases I deal with is the story of Fiona and Robert.
I first met Fiona when she booked a telephone reading and I realized she was suffering a great deal of pain and confusion from the recent breakup of her relationship with Robert. I recommended she seek healing and, a week later, she arrived at my door.
I wish I had a cent for every tear that has been shed on that end of my sofa -- it's a wonder it isn't afloat by now. Seeing people in complete despair is a common occurrence for me but it never gets any easier watching someone fall apart, not least because I've been there. Some days, you just wonder what the human race is coming to when people can hurt others in the way this girl was hurting. However, she was here now and I was going to help her.
Her total devastation and confusion was apparent and, as I read both her energies and Robert's, I realized this was a very strong metaphysical ( soul mate ) connection, hence the level of suffering she was enduring. She told me her story, described what seemed an ideal relationship - until, in the midst of it, Robert had turned tail and run without warning. To add to her grief and despair, within a week he had hooked up with someone else and told her he wasn't coming back.
As in most of these cases, by tuning into him I knew he was in love with her. Fiona, however, was in no position to believe this, not based on his actions. It was totally clear to me, however, that the bond between them was strong and had grown ever stronger and stronger whilst they were together, to the point that it scared the hell out of Robert.
How do you tell someone that a person they love has hurt them because they love them too much? How do you explain that the 'runner' fears the intensity of the connection? I could tell this other woman meant nothing to Robert and was just a shoulder for him to cry on. But, to Fiona, it seemed he had been a cheater and had callously lied about loving her. That's a very natural assumption when someone you trust totally turns a one eighty and goes off with someone else without warning.
For those of us who are emotionally and spiritually open to love on any level, the idea of someone running from happiness is bizarre and cruel in the extreme. Fiona was struggling to make sense of it and wasn't winning at all, which added to her immense grief.
As I began her healing and looked at what had happened to her energies, I realized she was suffering from what I call 'soul shock.' When someone you have a deep connection with suddenly pulls away, the dis-connect leaves you feeling as if your soul has left your body, like an empty shell. You just can't get back to reality and you can feel as if you simply exist.
This experience is similar to grieving the death of a loved one and I know many counselors, at least those who accept and understand connections, who will treat this pain in the same way as a bereavement
. What we're talking about here is not a conventional emotional relationship. A soul connection is the most powerful soul level connection with someone and when separations like this occur you just can't "get over it" or "move on" however hard you try. Many people can't eat sleep or work for a long time, a lot end up on medication and in counseling.
Even after more cases than I can remember, it never fails to amaze me how powerful healing is and what a perfect tool it can be for dealing with soul mate connections. I pulled Robert's energy away from Fiona's so that she wasn't being tugged around like a leaf in a gale by his confusion. This process forced out some of her grief.
Unexpressed emotions are debilitating and dangerous, so I opened up her heart chakra and used a technique I call 'accelerated bereavement.' This acceleration brings out the despair and pain in a burst of crying that's so deep you know it's from the soul. But, after twenty minutes or so, this incredible pain eases and the subject calms. That's exactly what happened with Fiona.
What is unique about soul connections is that we feel our partner's grief and confusion and they feel ours. This creates a tsunami of pain as the energy flows across our spiritual link and bounces each of us around like two corks on a string. Putting a block in a place eases 'soul shock' tremendously, so that's what I did to allow Fiona a chance to get on her feet again.
As the weeks and months went by, I saw her and treated her on a regular basis. Throughout that time, she grew slowly but progressively stronger, even as she continued to ache badly from the pain of separation from Robert. When you are separated from a soul mate, you miss your partner every minute of the day and most days are nothing more than a torture of aching and needing. The soul mate connection is unlike a conventional relationship for, in these cases, the pain of separation doesn't lessen. Some days it feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner.
Fiona experienced all of this and more, although with readings and healing I was able to reduce the worst of the excesses and keep up her hope that the situation would resolve itself and Robert would come back. At times, she would call in total pain and disbelief and ask how anything could hurt so much and why couldn't she just get over him? As always, I explained that a connection so strong was something we have little control over and, in time, he would return. While we wait, all we can do is stay strong and accept what has happened. Trying to understand why just adds to the torture.
In time, Robert did contact her. Fiona, however, found it very difficult to talk to him. He frequently contradicted himself and didn't seem to have a clue what he was doing, how he felt or what he wanted. This, of course, made it much harder for her to be in contact with the man she loved so much, as she still struggled to make sense of why he had run in the first place.
This is a very common albeit totally bizarre and bewildering phase that nearly always occurs in these relationships. While the more aware soul feels the immense sense of pain and loss, the 'runner,' who mostly has a ton of issues, is absolutely confused by the power of the connection and will seem to contradict themselves and not know quite what's going on. It's common to hear 'I love you,' then a week later, 'I don't love you,' and a host of other seemingly weird behaviors.
Understand, however, that this is your soul partner struggling to understand what's going on within them, as they are also totally overwhelmed by the feelings and confusion that the connection brings.
At this point, I asked Fiona to trust me and to follow some simple rules for communication. She agreed when she realized the present interaction was confusing her even more. I asked Fiona to set out what she wanted from Robert, make it clear to him, then to back away. To insist that, if and when he called, she didn't want to hear how bad his life was, especially after she had offered everything to make him happy. And that if he could not be there for her, then to put the phone down.
Staying strong in this phase takes an awful lot of guts and faith when your runner seems so close to returning. To push them away unless certain criteria are met is scary when you so fear losing them again. But Fiona did it… And, as in most cases, after a while it worked. It's said that runners return properly when the pain of separation is greater than the fear of commitment.
And by refusing to negotiate on anything other than coming together properly, Fiona made Robert realize he had to face this once and for all or lose her.
They met, they talked, she called me. Robert had accepted he couldn't go on as he had and he was prepared to face his fears and give it a go. Many more meetings occurred before Fiona was sure he was ready and knew that he would face his fear of commitment.
When finally they both came together again, and had put the past behind them, Fiona asked Robert to come to me for a reading and consultation. Seeing a runner is a rare opportunity for me, because when most reconciliations occur, my work is done.
Robert arrived and it was apparent he had no idea what to expect. I gave him a psychic reading and saw what was going on within him and how he had struggled to make sense of the past couple of years. What he said was a real eye opener for me, a rare chance to see how the incredible intensity of a soul connection can scare the daylights out of someone seemingly so strong and together.
He started talking about a time before Christmas when he realized just how deeply he felt for Fiona and, although he had always shunned commitment of any sort, he had decided to ask her to marry him. On his way to buy a ring, he talked to a friend about marriage and said he suddenly became very scared and unsure. He never did tell me what the friend said but whatever it was plugged deep into his fears. After that, instead of asking her to marry him, Robert told Fiona it was over and that he had found someone else.
If you're astounded reading this, so was I when I heard it. His thinking was that he couldn't go through with it and maybe he wasn't good enough for her.
What if he wasn't ready, what if it didn't work? All the other fear and insecurity-based questions rose up in him. His thinking was if she thought he had someone else, she could move on and not follow him.
When runners run, they really do run. Robert had demonstrated absolute mastery of the runner 180-degree speed turn. It was obvious that this man was unsure about himself - never mind what he could offer in a relationship. He made all his decisions from the head, not the heart. He mistakenly assumed Fiona could 'get over it.' It's one of the most frustrating things when runners make assumptions and don't give the other partner a chance. That's just what this one did.
However, now Robert was back and he was talking to me and that meant he wanted to understand what this was about and how he could deal with it. This was a terrific omen for the couple's future.
The outcome was that Robert did start to deal with his demons. His karmic lesson was to realize that he couldn't live life by purely mental decisions. He learnt that his heart wouldn't stay away and that fighting the connection only hurt them both and, ultimately, didn't work.
I now have an invitation to their wedding on my desk
Soulmate Connection
We know there are magical signs once we meet our soulmates
face to face. Expect it to be not ordinary. Imagine a
fairy-tale coming alive. Most certainly, there would be
sparks flying, butterflies in the stomach, stuttered
sentences, ease of communication, physical attractions,
love-at-first-sights, answered prayers, love remembered from
dreams; in other words, a soulmate connection.
At first, the connection may be quite dream-like and a
little too overwhelming until it turns into a vague
familiarity. It may also be intense there may be no words to
describe it perfectly. Details of soulmate connections can
every so often overpower love itself. It’s spirit-lifting.
It’s addictive. It’s without doubt a “connection” between
two hearts. It’s beyond anything you have experienced.
Meeting your soulmate at this time and age is a rare gift,
one who’s interested needs to plumb the depths of all
possibilities, if not, just wait for it to happen. But for
some, waiting can be as dreadful as searching without
finding the “right one”. So might as well go for it and
enjoy every second of your “finding your soulmate
expedition”. At least, you will not tell yourself you did
not try.
Romance novels and studies on “finding your soulmate” have
it all- the unbelievable peaks and lows people go through
just to meet their soulmates. And their stories have all one
thing to say- once they have met their soulmates, it was as
if they have known and loved each other before. And they
can’t wait to spend their lives with each other forever.
With all these far-fetched concepts about soulmate
connection, who then do you think wouldn’t do anything for
love? If it’s that heavenly perfect, anyone will surely risk
anything just to experience it. How about you? How far would
you go for love?
It’s every girl’s dream for sure – to meet her soulmate and
experience a soulmate connection. Because if the feeling is
euphoric, why not? If meeting your soulmate is all you think
of and soulmate connection has captured your creative
imagination and loving heart, it becomes hard-wired into
your brain. It’s all you’re going to think of and focus on.
The best thing about finding your soulmate is that you will
love with a pure heart and with the cleanest intention to
give your all to that one special person.
Robert Johannsen MA is a psychology and freelance author
living in British Columbia. Robert's articles on Psychology,
Relationships and Popular Culture have been published in
numerous magazines in Canada, the US and the UK. His popular
Ebook, Proven Secrets for Attracting your Soulmate has
helped people from all walks of life find that special
someone since 2000.
face to face. Expect it to be not ordinary. Imagine a
fairy-tale coming alive. Most certainly, there would be
sparks flying, butterflies in the stomach, stuttered
sentences, ease of communication, physical attractions,
love-at-first-sights, answered prayers, love remembered from
dreams; in other words, a soulmate connection.
At first, the connection may be quite dream-like and a
little too overwhelming until it turns into a vague
familiarity. It may also be intense there may be no words to
describe it perfectly. Details of soulmate connections can
every so often overpower love itself. It’s spirit-lifting.
It’s addictive. It’s without doubt a “connection” between
two hearts. It’s beyond anything you have experienced.
Meeting your soulmate at this time and age is a rare gift,
one who’s interested needs to plumb the depths of all
possibilities, if not, just wait for it to happen. But for
some, waiting can be as dreadful as searching without
finding the “right one”. So might as well go for it and
enjoy every second of your “finding your soulmate
expedition”. At least, you will not tell yourself you did
not try.
Romance novels and studies on “finding your soulmate” have
it all- the unbelievable peaks and lows people go through
just to meet their soulmates. And their stories have all one
thing to say- once they have met their soulmates, it was as
if they have known and loved each other before. And they
can’t wait to spend their lives with each other forever.
With all these far-fetched concepts about soulmate
connection, who then do you think wouldn’t do anything for
love? If it’s that heavenly perfect, anyone will surely risk
anything just to experience it. How about you? How far would
you go for love?
It’s every girl’s dream for sure – to meet her soulmate and
experience a soulmate connection. Because if the feeling is
euphoric, why not? If meeting your soulmate is all you think
of and soulmate connection has captured your creative
imagination and loving heart, it becomes hard-wired into
your brain. It’s all you’re going to think of and focus on.
The best thing about finding your soulmate is that you will
love with a pure heart and with the cleanest intention to
give your all to that one special person.
Robert Johannsen MA is a psychology and freelance author
living in British Columbia. Robert's articles on Psychology,
Relationships and Popular Culture have been published in
numerous magazines in Canada, the US and the UK. His popular
Ebook, Proven Secrets for Attracting your Soulmate has
helped people from all walks of life find that special
someone since 2000.
Sign of Affair: I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love
If there is one front-and-forward excuse for infidelity it is: " I fell out of love."
This usually means: I no longer feel sexually attracted to you (I'm sexually attracted to someone else, for now, at least.) Or, I need to spice my life with giddy emotional highs and intrigue every so often.
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.
Did you know there are 7 different kinds of affairs? Well, there may be more, but after a couple decades of clinical work and research, I've identified 7.
And, if you look carefully, you will find that each form of infidelity carries different signs and markers. Know those specific signs of infidelity and you can save yourself much grief.
One kind of affair I write about in my E-book is called, "I Fell out of Love...and just love being in love."
Here are some signs and patterns you can expect in this kind of affair:
1. Hang on to your seat. This may be some ride, much like a thrill ride at an amusement park. There will likely be many ups and downs, spiced with dramatic flair. Watching your spouse go through his gyrations may leave you somewhat dizzy. He will give his all to this new-found "love" and at other times might find his way back to you.
2. Typically you will struggle with being ignored and feeling rather awful that you can't provide the "love" this other person seems to provide. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to "love" and your desirability. His affections will obviously be centered on that other person.
3. He may want to tell you about this other person. Not only might he want you to know about the other person he may desire to share with you some of the details of this relationship. He might want you involved. This creates an intense triangle that juices the drama. (Most classical love stories are dramas, complete with a triangle; he "falls in love" with the forbidden or unattainable princess. Often the drama ends as a tragedy - Romeo and Juliet.)
4. Expect some juvenile behavior such as love letters (e-mail), special names, special promises, secrets only for the two of them, etc. Some of these affair relationships are the result of unfinished business from adolescence. Perhaps he was responsible for family or beset by some trauma or internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded him from dating, socializing with the opposite sex, and "falling in and out of love" a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.
5. You may hear the persistent phrase, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He may truly "like you" and depend on your stability, goodness and understanding. The thought of losing that may keep him connected with you. His fear of losing that which is stable and enduring may conflict with his need to follow his feelings. As well, the possibility of loss may point to the internal emptiness that stirs up very uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. This is part of the roller coaster ride.
6. He may feel very badly about his "inability" to love you and his "inability" not to love the other person. He may express great remorse for the dilemma. He may profess deep sadness for "hurting" you - but, as you know, he has no control. His feelings drive him. His "concern" for you indicates his superficial understanding of relationships. Or, his "concern" for you may be a manipulative attempt to find an easier exit from the marriage.
7. Expect his feelings for the other person to fade. They will fade quickly if this is a pure "I've fallen out of love (and just love being in love)" affair. The "romance" of adolescent love affairs start quickly and end as abruptly. If, however, other issues come into play, such as, resentment and/or the inability to say no, you have a more complicated situation that takes longer to resolve.
This usually means: I no longer feel sexually attracted to you (I'm sexually attracted to someone else, for now, at least.) Or, I need to spice my life with giddy emotional highs and intrigue every so often.
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.
Did you know there are 7 different kinds of affairs? Well, there may be more, but after a couple decades of clinical work and research, I've identified 7.
And, if you look carefully, you will find that each form of infidelity carries different signs and markers. Know those specific signs of infidelity and you can save yourself much grief.
One kind of affair I write about in my E-book is called, "I Fell out of Love...and just love being in love."
Here are some signs and patterns you can expect in this kind of affair:
1. Hang on to your seat. This may be some ride, much like a thrill ride at an amusement park. There will likely be many ups and downs, spiced with dramatic flair. Watching your spouse go through his gyrations may leave you somewhat dizzy. He will give his all to this new-found "love" and at other times might find his way back to you.
2. Typically you will struggle with being ignored and feeling rather awful that you can't provide the "love" this other person seems to provide. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to "love" and your desirability. His affections will obviously be centered on that other person.
3. He may want to tell you about this other person. Not only might he want you to know about the other person he may desire to share with you some of the details of this relationship. He might want you involved. This creates an intense triangle that juices the drama. (Most classical love stories are dramas, complete with a triangle; he "falls in love" with the forbidden or unattainable princess. Often the drama ends as a tragedy - Romeo and Juliet.)
4. Expect some juvenile behavior such as love letters (e-mail), special names, special promises, secrets only for the two of them, etc. Some of these affair relationships are the result of unfinished business from adolescence. Perhaps he was responsible for family or beset by some trauma or internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded him from dating, socializing with the opposite sex, and "falling in and out of love" a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.
5. You may hear the persistent phrase, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He may truly "like you" and depend on your stability, goodness and understanding. The thought of losing that may keep him connected with you. His fear of losing that which is stable and enduring may conflict with his need to follow his feelings. As well, the possibility of loss may point to the internal emptiness that stirs up very uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. This is part of the roller coaster ride.
6. He may feel very badly about his "inability" to love you and his "inability" not to love the other person. He may express great remorse for the dilemma. He may profess deep sadness for "hurting" you - but, as you know, he has no control. His feelings drive him. His "concern" for you indicates his superficial understanding of relationships. Or, his "concern" for you may be a manipulative attempt to find an easier exit from the marriage.
7. Expect his feelings for the other person to fade. They will fade quickly if this is a pure "I've fallen out of love (and just love being in love)" affair. The "romance" of adolescent love affairs start quickly and end as abruptly. If, however, other issues come into play, such as, resentment and/or the inability to say no, you have a more complicated situation that takes longer to resolve.
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